


An Ending Within

by thatcrazywriterley



Series: The Shield Saga [2]
Category: All Elite Wrestling, Being the Elite, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Did I Mention Angst?, F/M, Fluff, Fozzy Music, Hounds of Justice Sequel, New Friends, SO MUCH WRESTLING, Sequel, So much angst, Wrestling, hounds of justice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:55:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 25,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21610324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatcrazywriterley/pseuds/thatcrazywriterley
Summary: Breaking News: WWE Superstar set to Leave after SummerslamBleacher Report Live can exclusively report today that insiders have confirmed that two time Raw Women’s champion Llane Black will not resign her WWE contract. This development comes on the heels of fellow Shield member Dean Ambrose’s exit in April of 2019. While no official word has come out, there are strong rumors that Black may be headed to AEW to join her former tag partner. Stay connected and subscribe to B/R Live for updates on Llane Black and all of your favorite WWE superstars.
Relationships: Dean Amrose|Jon Moxley/Renee Young, Roman Reigns/Galina Anoa'i, Seth Rollins/Llane Black|Leighton Black (OFC), Seth Rollins/OFC
Series: The Shield Saga [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1553095
Comments: 26
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

_(GIF owned by prowrestlingnow on Tumblr)_

I knew the moment it happened. The moment that it became no longer a secret. It wasn’t easy, making the decision that they’d just splashed all over the dirt sheets.

The moment that Seth found out.

From someone other than me.

“What the hell, Llane?” he asked, tossing his phone on the sofa beside me. Our two-year-old daughter, Iosefina, slept snuggled in my lap. I glared up at my husband, daring him to wake her up. It was the first time the three of us had been together in any kind of calm for weeks. I wanted to enjoy the moment with our family, not fight.

I looked down long enough to see the Bleacher Report headline that read _WWE Superstar set to Leave after Summerslam_. It wasn’t exactly the way that I wanted to start this conversation with Seth, but there was no ignoring it now.

“Can we not do this with Sefina right here?” I whispered, curling our daughter a little closer, as if I could protect her from the fact that Seth and I were about to disagree in the worst way. “Let me put her down and we’ll talk.”

Seth nodded grudgingly and gingerly took Sefina from my arms. He cradled her against his chest as he rocked her on the way down the hallway. When he was out of sight, I took a moment to sink into the cushions and wonder—not for the first time—if I was making the right choice.

As soon as I set foot in the Performance Center, I knew that wrestling was the thing that I loved. The thing that was going to keep me going when there was nothing else to give me purpose. I wouldn’t trade a second of my time from the day I tried out to the last instant of my most recent match. Being a wrestler, being a part of the WWE roster, had brought me to the Shield—to my dearest friends, my brothers, and my husband. I didn’t begrudge a second of it.

Not a millisecond.

But I’d be lying if I said I’d always been happy. The WWE had given me the chance to achieve my dreams. I’d won the Raw Women’s Championship twice. I’d come back from a near paralyzing injury to be a surprise entrant in the Royal Rumble and win a title shot at Wrestlemania. I’d taken on Ronda Rousey and beat her twice. I fought on the grandest stage of them all. I _won_ against Becky Lynch and went on to hold my second title for four hundred and twelve days. There was nothing left for me to do in the WWE.

I suppose the start of my disillusionment came when Dean told me he was leaving. He had been unhappy for a while, and not even the Shield could talk him into staying. And it wasn’t like we hadn’t tried. I think I even cried, begging him to stay. To not leave me. Because I couldn’t see how I could make it without him. But in the end, my love for Dean and my desire to see him happy overrode my desperation to keep him with me. When he left after Wrestlemania… something just broke inside me.

The last match we had together—a house show in Moline—had been the best and worst nights of my career. It had been Baron, McIntyre, and Lashley against the three of them. I was at ringside commentary… as much for Renee as for them. Watching the three of them together for the last time—knowing that I would never get to see Roman and Seth and Dean fighting like a fluid machine—had me in tears for the entire match.

When it was over, we stood together for the final time. They wrapped their arms around each other—around me—and embraced in the center of the ring amid tears. Time stopped and it was just the four of us together in our own little world.

“You’re not losing me, dollface,” Dean said vehemently. “Whenever you need me, you know I’ll always come runnin’.”

Roman murmured something in Samoan. I should have understood with all of his lessons, but it was hard enough for me to remember to breathe. Panic threatened to choke me. It took every ounce of strength to keep myself together in front of the crowd.

“One last time, dollface,” Dean said with a sad smile. He took my face in his hands and pressed his forehead to mine. Then he dropped a kiss on my hair and pushed me toward the turnbuckle. “For me.”

I hugged him fiercely and went to the corner on shaking legs. The crowd chanted and stomped their feet, strains of _Thank you, Ambrose_ echoing from the rafters. We stood as a unit, one at each corner of the ring, fists in the air, drinking in the sensation of being with one another for the final match.

The three of them climbed down, stepped between the ropes and hopped to the floor. I closed my eyes, pushing back tears as I balanced on the top. The post was bare—not like the covered ones with LED lights we used on the live broadcasts—so I couldn’t stand on it. It took focus to balance upright on the top turnbuckle, waiting for them to gather around behind me.

I lifted my face to the sky and fell back, knowing that they were there to catch me.

One last time.

Seth’s footsteps pulled me back into the present and away from that night. He crossed the room with heavy steps, his arms crossed over his chest. The sofa dipped as he sat down, turning sideways to face me.

“Why did you have to do it like this, Llane?” he asked, the hurt flashing in his eyes.

My heart ached. “You haven’t wanted to hear it,” I said matter-of-factly. “Since Dean left, it’s seemed like the Hounds were off limits. It’s like you wanted me to forget about all of it as soon as his contract officially expired.”

“You’ve been pining for him for months. Don’t you think it’s strange that you feel that way for a man who isn’t your husband?” The words came out with venom, a sting that he seemed to recognize when it hit. “Listen… I know he means a lot to you. He means a lot to me, too. But he’s not coming back. And we have to get on without him.”

“See, that’s why I haven’t told you. Every time I even mention him, you act like he’s dead. Dean is my best friend, Seth. And I miss him so much it hurts. You get that, right? I love you, I will always love you, but there are things about me that no one really understands but him. I thought we’d gotten past that.” I sank back into the cushions, surprised at how utterly empty I felt. “I wouldn’t trade a second of the time I’ve had with you, or with the company. But I need you to understand. I’m not happy anymore.”

Seth moved forward, reaching out to me but not quite touching me. “They’ve treated you like gold since you got to NXT. You’re basically on par with Charlotte fucking Flair. How could you not be happy?”

I tried to breathe. To push away the terror that was quickly rising in my chest. I’d gotten much better at handing my panic, but the sensation of powerlessness came back with vengeance when I thought about going through this company without Dean. “I’m just not. Roman is on Smackdown now, so I only get to really see him at events before pay-per-views. Dean is gone. I feel like I’ve told the same story for months now.”

“Am I not enough?” my husband asked quietly. 

Tears blurred my vision. I moved closer to him, reaching out to take his hands. “Colby, look at me.” The sound of his given name was enough for him to meet my gaze. “I love you more than anything in the world. You are the center of my universe, you know that don’t you? There’s nothing I want in my life that doesn’t include you and Sefina. When it comes to my love, you are more than enough.”

“But I can’t make you happy,” he murmured.

“It isn’t your job to make me happy. The only person who can do that is me.” I squeezed his fingers. “You make me feel loved. Safe. And you are a wonderful father to our daughter. Seeing you with her… I love you more every time I see you with her.”

Seth brushed his thumbs over my wrists as he pulled me close. “Are you leaving?”

I blinked, squeezed my eyes shut. The tears came in a burning rush that made my heart ache in my chest. “I’m not leaving _you_,” I said desperately. “But I can’t be happy in WWE anymore.”

He settled his cheek against my hair and sighed. “If Dean asked you to come to AEW, would you go?”

“Part of me says yes,” I confessed. “I miss working with him. And he seems happy there. But I know how everyone turned on him when he left. I have friends here that I don’t want to lose, but I don’t think I’m ready to give up on wrestling.”

“Would you join an indie company?”

I breathed deeply, feeling something about the sweetness of this moment slipping away into an interrogation with Dean at the center. My voice cracked as I spoke. “I don’t know, Seth. I haven’t made any choices other than I am leaving WWE at the end of August.”


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_(GIF owned by moxley-master on Tumblr)_

“Are you sure about this?” Hunter said ruefully. He looked at me with hopeful eyes, even though his face bore the truth of my departure.

I nodded, trying hard to push away my guilt. Hunter had been wonderful—he’d taken me into NXT and trained me to be everything that I’d become. He’d been a mentor and a friend. An amazing teacher that I truly didn’t deserve. “I’m sorry,” I replied.

He rounded his desk and wrapped me in a warm, familiar hug. “We don’t want you to go. I wish I could talk you into staying, but I know Seth and Roman have already tried. I know Stef has tried.”

“You know that I owe you all of this, don’t you? I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you.”

He chuckled. “You earned all of it, Llane. Every single step of this was you.”

My heart broke just a little. “So is this goodbye?” I knew what happened when people left the company. More often than not, they were pushed to the alumni records and treated as if they hardly existed.

And if they went to another company…

… it was like they died.

Or became the enemy.

Sadness flickered in his eyes. He sighed as he gave me one final squeeze. “No. It’s never goodbye, Llane. Not for you.”

My eyes burned. I was sure I was about to burst into tears. Whatever Hunter said, there would never be another moment like this. Not for me

“Thank you for everything, Hunter,” I murmured, sure that I would never talk to my mentor like this again.

***

We sat together in catering—Alexa, Becky, Renee, and I—talking. There was an ache in my chest like my heart was shattering. These women were my friends. They had welcomed me into the company, into this family and given me a brand-new type of family. Alexa had been my most dedicated cheerleader. Becky and I had gotten on the moment they put us into the ring together. And Renee… she was my dearest friend and my strongest link to Dean since his departure.

“How’d he take it?” Alexa queried, picking at the grilled chicken on her plate.

I sighed, leaning b ack and rubbing my eyes. “It probably would’ve gone better if I’d told him before the dirt sheets ran it.”

“Shite,” Becky said, dropping her fork onto her plate.

“Yeah,” I groaned. “And of course, no matter what I said, he couldn’t get past the idea that my not being happy here anymore might have had the slightest thing to do with Dean leaving. I swear, he’d rather me spend the rest of my life at home with Sefina than go wrestle with Dean again. Not that I don’t love my daughter and every second I with her.”

Renee looked at me sadly. “I thought he’d gotten over all of that?”

“When the four of us were together, it was all good. But as soon as Dean left… I swear Seth lost it. And even though it’s like this now…” I leaned forward and rested my elbows on the table, covering my face with my hands. “God, it’s going to be a shit-show when I tell him that I’ve got a meeting with Cody.”

“Does Dean know?” Renee asked quietly.

I sighed. “Yeah. He’s the one who helped set the whole thing up.”

Becky reached across the table and put her arms around me. “Ya know, love. Nothin’s gonna change wit’ us. Ya still one o’ us.”

I sniffed and hugged her hard. “Everything’s falling apart, Becks. I feel like I’m either going to lose Seth or I’m going to lose this life that I’ve worked so hard for.”

“Don’t you dare give up,” Alexa said sternly.

“Seth is never going to agree to this. It’s one thing if I leave the company and be a stay-at-home mom or help Marek run Black and Brave or manage the coffee shop. It’s something else entirely if I go to another company. A _competing_ company.”

“_Dean’s_ _company_,” Renee added.

“Yeah.”

***

“Colby, can we talk,” I said calmly, the two of us standing side by side as we put dishes into the dishwasher. Sefina sat in her highchair not far away, playing with a teething ring. I smiled as I walked past her, reaching out to tickle her beneath her chin.

Seth dried his hands on a towel and sank onto a chair. My eyes went to the glint of his wedding band. I twisted my own nervously as I took the seat nearby. The silence stretched out, filled only by the sound of the swishing of water in the background.

After a while, he reached out, enclosed his fingers around mine. “How did your meeting with Hunter go?”

I smiled, a painful happiness. “He tried to get me to stay.”

“Did it work?”

“No.”

Seth went quiet again, almost as if his last gamble had gone sour. “Who are you dropping to?”

I looked away, feeling like the conversation had already gotten out of my control. “Becks.”

He squeezed my palm, and I was thrown back to the first time I felt his fingers in mine. When there was a moment when I wondered what exactly there was between us, if whatever it was would turn into something. Those early days had been terrifying and exhilarating. Not just in the ring, but in the quiet moments in the back of that worn SUV driving from city to city.

“Marek and I were throwing around some ideas,” Seth said, twisting the conversation entirely out of my control. “We’d like to open up a class of just women. And now that you’re going to be around the school more often, we thought now would be a good time to—”

“I have a meeting with Cody Rhodes,” I said bluntly. “About a contract with AEW.”

Seth stopped, his mouth hanging open. His fingers flexed against mine when the words seemed to make sense. A lump formed in my throat. Terror that he wanted to let go.

“Does Dean know?” he asked, his voice tight.

I blinked, feeling my jaw clench at the storm I knew was coming. My gaze flicked to our daughter. When I looked back at Seth, I tightened my hold on his hand, begging him to keep himself together in front of our little girl.

“Yes,” I replied. “But this was my idea. Not his. And I need you to understand that I need to do this. For me.”

We looked at one another for a long while, not entirely sure what to say. “It isn’t about going to another company, Colby. It isn’t about Dean. I love this business as much as you do, but I can’t do it with WWE anymore. All I’m doing is _talking_ to Cody. I’m not signing anything. That’s not a decision I’ll make without talking to you.”

He leaned back, his fingers coming undone from mine. My heart ached, shattered into jagged pieces. I felt them slice into my limbs as the shards pushed out of my body.

“Like when you decided to leave the company?”

I sighed. I wasn’t going to fight. Not in front of Sefina and not over something that was done and over with. My hands cupped together on the table, wishing that I didn’t feel like my husband was a thousand miles away.

“That’s done, Colby. I’m sorry that I didn’t talk to you before it came out, but I need for us to move on.” Vertigo slipped in. I thought for a moment that I was going to be sick. That I was going to pass out. “I _need_ you to support _me_. I don’t expect you to like every decision I make, but I do need you to be behind me.”

He leaned his forearms on the table. The tips of our fingers touched. “You’re right. I don’t like this, Llane. I don’t want you to leave. And I can’t help that I’m jealous that you’re choosing to follow Dean rather than stay with me.”

Fingers inched closer. I blinked back tears as I met his gaze. “I’m not _choosing_ Dean over you. I never have and I never will.” Guilt and frustration churned in my stomach. I wanted to scream at him to stop putting Dean in the middle of our relationship. “I need to do this. For me.”

Seth covered my hands with his. “We’ll be apart more than we’re together.”

“They only compete one day a week. Appearances and other stuff are minimal.” I glanced at Sefina, smiled at her toothy baby grin. “_We_ can travel with you. _We_ can be a family and raise her together… rather than having Holly take care of her three days out of the week. And if you want, I can talk to Marek about the women’s class. This is something we can do together, Colby.”

He was quiet for a moment. Then he stood and pulled me up into his arms. He hugged me tightly, enclosing me in his arms until I could barely breathe. “I almost lost you once, Sophie. I can’t do it again.”

“You aren’t losing me.” I squeezed him back, my arms around his waist. “You’ll never lose me.”


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_(GIF owned by russelldearest on Tumblr)_

“Dollface!”

Relief. A deep-seated sense of home and frenetic energy. I couldn’t stop myself from rushing straight into his open arms. He looked different—his gingery hair cut a little closer to his head and more bulk to his frame.

He was still my Dean.

Well… Jon now.

He swept me up into a warm, vice-like hug. It was just like the old days.

“You look good,” I said, beaming from ear to ear.

He grinned in return, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “So do you, dollface. How’s my girl?”

Dean put his arm around my shoulder and led me down a hallway toward Cody’s office. “She’s getting bigger every day. It’s hard to believe she’s almost a year old now.”

“I need to come see her more. Both of you.” There was sadness in his voice when he said it. “There’s no excuse.”

I sighed and slung an arm around his waist. It reminded me of our Lunatic Llane days and limping up the ramp together after a match. “I understand. Seth doesn’t make it easy lately.”

We walked in silence for a moment. The door at the end of the hall opened up and a platinum blond head poked around the frame. “Jon! Right on time.” The man came fully out into the hallway, a smile on his face, as he rolled his sleeves up his forearms. He held out a hand. “Cody Rhodes, and you must be Llane Black.”

“Until August. Then, I guess it’s just Sofie Lopez,” I said, shaking his hand firmly.

He smiled a little broader. “Maybe we can do something about that,” he said gesturing us into the office.

There wasn’t much to the room, just a table with chairs gathered around it. Papers were strewn all over the top, stacks here and there. I recognized proofs for merchandise and the outline of an upcoming card. It took a moment for me to recognize that there was someone else in the room.

“Llane—Sofie…” Cody said with a grin, “this is Kenny Omega. He’s in charge of the women’s division here.”

Kenny stood up and extended his hand. He had a wide smile and two-toned hair. “Jon’s told us a lot about you.”

“Most of it lies, I’m sure,” I said, shaking his hand. Cody gestured for us to sit.

Dean sank into a chair on the side of the table opposite Kenny then pushed a chair back for me. I tucked my leg beneath me as I sat, feeling relieved that Dean was nearby. It had been so long since we’d been able to hang out together, and it made me think of those days on the road in that horrible SUV.

The first half hour or so was Cody and Kenny talking about the things they were doing in AEW or the things they wanted to do. They talked about how they were doing things differently than just about any other company in the business. I had to admit, the schedule sounded fantastic. They had a small roster of incredibly talented people.

And Dean was there. I missed him more than I’d been willing to admit.

“We’ve done a lot of the talking. I know it’s a lot, but I know Jon’s been going back and forth with you about it too,” Cody said smoothly. “And none of us expect you to make a decision on the spot.”

I leaned back, tucking my sweater more tightly around me. “I’ve been watching the show when I can. And I have to tell you, it’s amazing what you guys are doing around here. This one seems pretty happy.” I jerked my thumb at Dean.

“Damn right, dollface,” he said with a grin.

Kenny stood up. “If you’ve got some time, I can introduce you around. Meeting some of the others might help you make a decision.” He held up both hands, grinning. “Not right now of course.”

I looked back at Dean. He took my hand and squeezed my fingers reassuringly. There was something playful in his eyes when he tilted his head toward Kenny, gesturing for me to follow along behind him.

“You might run into a few old faces,” Dean said playfully. When I raised a brow at his insistence that I go, he chuckled. “Don’t worry. I’m not making plans for you without you around. _I_ know enough to not do that.”

I rolled my eyes and smacked him in the shoulder. “Don’t give Seth another reason to be a baby about this. Please.”

Dean scoffed but held up his hands in surrender. “I just want you to be happy, dollface.”

Dropping a sisterly kiss on his forehead, I turned and followed Kenny out of the office and into the hallway. Almost as soon as we were out of earshot, Kenny started talking.

“I don’t think I’ve seen Jon that animated since he showed up here.” Kenny shortened his stride to walk next to me, and I couldn’t help but recognize the snap of energy that buzzed around him. It made me feel like I’d known him for years.

“Count yourself lucky then,” I replied, grinning.

Kenny lead the way out of the carpeted corridor and into the back halls of the arena. Being surrounded by cinder block walls and rolling equipment cases put me quickly at ease. Other people milled about, not quite paying attention as we passed by.

I’d just slipped past someone when their face registered. “Jericho?”

The man turned, cockiness slipping into his features. It disappeared when he recognized me. “Llane?” He reached out and pulled me into a hug. “What are you doing here?”

I grinned. “What do you think?”

“No shit. I knew Cody wanted to get you here, but I didn’t think you’d bite. Not with Rollins and Reigns still around.” Chris glanced between me and Kenny and back again. “Sorry, Ken. I helped train this kid when she left the Performance Center. Does Jon know she’s here?”

Chris’ eyes went wide, a grin spreading over his face. “Does Jon know you’re here?”

“He’s back with Cody. Kenny here was just showing me around.” I pointed a finger in his face, already seeing Chris rubbing his hands together with glee. “This is a look-see, not a contract signing. Don’t get too excited.”

He reached out and gave me a bump on the shoulder. “You’ll be here before you know it, kid. I’ve already got some _great_ ideas for you.”

_______________

“So, what d’you think?” Dean asked as we walked back toward the parking lot.

I wrapped my arms around my middle, trying to get the words right. “It’s different.”

He slipped in front of me, walking backwards. “That’s the thing about it. This is _wrestling_, Llane. Not like that shit Vince has you doing. You’re good, think about how great you could be here. Talent alone you could be running this division in a month.”

“That’s not what I want, and you know it. Chris got the big title because he’s the draw. I get that. And you’re in the picture because you’re amazing. The other guys—honestly, I’d love to see what you and Seth could do against the Bucks. That would be amazing.” I took a deep breath. “If I come here, it’s on my own terms. You know that, right?”

Dean skidded to a stop, causing me to run headlong into his chest. “You always do things on your own terms, dollface. And whatever you decide, I’m gonna be right there behind you.”

I grinned up at him before slipping my arms around him. He gathered me up in one of his warm hugs. He crackled with energy.

I’d forgotten how much I missed the feeling.

__________________

“I’m taking the contract,” I said calmly, watching my husband’s face for any reaction. Sefina slept soundly in her rocking seat at my feet. I hoped she’d stay that way. “At least, I’d like to.”

Seth stiffened. I watched his jaw bunch as he clenched his teeth. I blinked, afraid of what was about to happen.

“Okay,” he said after a moment. The gruffness of his voice made it clear it hurt him to agree.

My heart skipped. Vertigo slipped in. I couldn’t believe I’d heard correctly. “Okay?”

Silence, heavy and thick. Yet a lightness as if all the air had been removed. I felt giddy. Sick.

“If this is what you want, then I’m behind you,” Seth replied. He turned toward me, smiling a little even though there was hurt in his chocolate eyes. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted. For you to be safe and happy.”

A sudden sting. Heat rushing through my face. I blinked back tears. “Seth…”

His fingers slipped around my wrist, drawing me close. He tipped my face up, our eyes meeting. Sometimes I forgot how young he could seem when the cockiness and weight of his reputation fell away.

“I’ve been thinking a lot lately,” he whispered. “I may have reasons for not wanting you to take the contract with them, but most of them have nothing to do with you. They’re about me. I don’t want to have to travel without you. I don’t want to work without you. And I still get jealous over how close you and Dean are.”

I opened my mouth to say something, but he held his fingers to my lips to stop the words.

“Let me say this,” Seth murmured. “If you want to go to AEW, if that is what’s going to make you happy, then I’ll get over how I feel about it. As long as you’re happy, I can be happy. Just promise me you’ll be careful.”

I reached up, cradled his face in my hands. “I’m not doing anything stupid. Not when I have you and Sefina to worry about. And you know as well as I do… it doesn’t matter what company I’m at. There’s always that chance. But I can promise you that I’ll do everything I can do come back to you both in one piece. Every night.”

Seth may not have liked it, but it seemed that we finally, somehow, understood each other.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

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My shoulder ached. Pins and needles trickled down my forearm just as fire took over my deltoid. I wriggled, struggled to get my knees under me. Becky had me locked into the Disarm Her, and I was seconds away from tapping out. My elbow burned.

“Tap!” Becky shouted. “C’mon, _tap!_”

I screamed, kicking my boots against the mat. This wasn’t how I wanted to lose… not my last match. I knew that Becky had to win. I knew my time in WWE was over. Even though I was ready to move on, I wanted to end like I’d begun.

Moving was like stabbing a knife into my shoulder blade. I wriggled until I got up onto my knees. It surprised Becky enough that her grip relaxed. I jerked my arm back and crab scrambled back into the corner.

Gasping. An ache that was bone deep. Too long spent in the submission.

Grip the ropes. Pull, scrape, claw myself to my feet. They were wobbly beneath me.

I saw Becky take off from the opposite corner. She’d try the shoulder takedown. I ran, throwing myself low. My shoulder slammed into her ribs, knocking the wind out of her. We both hit the mat hard. The spear took more out of me than it did her.

Groaning, rolling onto my back, desperate to get a deep breath. _How long had this match been going on?_ It had to be almost over. I couldn’t decide whether I wanted to end it or go until I couldn’t stand.

Becky got to her feet before I could. Every move I made… she was ten steps and two seconds ahead. My head throbbed. Things were going sideways.

I rolled onto my hands and knees, beating my fists on the mat and screaming. I thought of Dean and that first match we had on Raw. I thought of how the Shield stood by him when he fought his last match. More than anything, I wished he was there.

I wished…

Footsteps pounded on the steel ramp. I looked up to see Seth and Roman stalking to the ring. They took up positions right where I could see them. Tears burned my eyes. I knew, somewhere out there, Dean was watching this moment, hoping that he could be here, too.

The end was coming. I knew it was moments away. But I wouldn’t go down without a fight.

On my feet. Rushing at Becky. Superkick that shoves her back into the corner. Climbing to the second rope, blow after blow across her chest and shoulders. The echoing count of one blow after the other… the quiet after _nine_.

Hands around my waist, a hard shove outward. I landed hard on my stomach, the wind rushing out of me. Frantic pushing, rolled onto my back. The weight of another body on top of mine.

The final pin fall. I couldn’t draw this out anymore. I knew, wherever he was, Dean was proud of me.

_One…_

_ Two…_

_ Three._

The bell rang, shouts echoed off the rooftops. Screams of adulation and exhilaration mixed in with boos of unhappiness. The weight disappeared. Becky got to her feet, took the belt that was now hers. I covered my eyes, trying not to cry. I could hear Roman on the outside. The outrage was useless. Everyone knew this was it.

The end.

The end of the Shield. They’d had their last ride with Dean. This was mine.

I sat up, pushed my red and black hair out of my face. My toes tingled, the tell-tale sign of exhaustion in my surgically repaired leg. My entire body ached, and I wanted to break down in tears. The end was worse than I thought it would be.

Something heavy thumped onto the mat nearby. Hands appeared in my field of vision. The bright blue nails of my friend. Becky took my hands and pulled me up to my feet. Her arms went around me and I couldn’t help it… I collapsed into her, hugging her tightly as the last moments of my career in WWE faded away.

“I’m gonna miss ya, Llane,” she said between gasped breaths. “Don’ be a stranger, alrigh’?”

I squeezed her tight. “Thank you for this, Becks. I’m glad it was you.”

She gave me one last squeeze before she pulled away. She grabbed her title and climbed the ropes, holding it up for the crowd. Her music swelled through the arena as she disappeared up the ramp.

The mat bounced as Seth and Roman entered the ring. When I finally made myself look at them, they were both in tears. I sucked in one breath after another, trying to calm the terror-filled racing of my heart.

Suddenly, they had mics in their hands. Seth swallowed hard, his face going red as he tried to hold back sobs. He brought the mic to his mouth once… twice… three times before he said anything.

“I hate this,” he said honestly. His voice broke a little as he spoke. “You know, Roman knows, these people know—” he gestured to the crowd “—that I’d give anything to make you change your mind. But if I’ve learned one thing about you in the last few years, Llane Black, it’s this. You are a badass. You looked the worst in the face and didn’t back down. You are here right now because you refused to take no for an answer, and for that… you are the strongest person I’ve ever met.”

I wiped at my eyes, knowing that everything he said was straight from his heart.

“And I love you more than you could ever imagine.”

With that, he caved. The mic popped as it hit the mat. I raced toward him, throwing myself into his arms. He gripped me so tightly that I could hardly breathe. “I love you, Colby. And Seth and Tyler. Every little bit of you.”

The audience hooted and hollered. There were chants of _Thank you, Shield_ and _Thank you_, _Llane_ mixed in with _Please don’t go_. I cried a little harder. It was a repeat of that last match with Dean.

Roman cleared his throat. “I’m not much for goodbyes, and you know it. No matter where you go or what you do, never forget that you are a Hound. And we take care of our own. I love you, _itiiti_. And I always will.”

He joined the hold, hugging the two of us, whispering in Samoan until the ache in my heart soothed. I clutched at him. My brother, the calm inside the storm.

We stood in the ring amid chants and shouts for a moment. When I finally trusted my voice, I took the mic from Seth. He leaned against the ropes in the corner, almost as if he couldn’t stand up beneath his grief.

I took a deep breath and faced the WWE Universe for the last time. “There’s a lot that could be said right now. But I want to thank each and every one of you for your support, your love, and your energy. I couldn’t have done what I have without you.”

The rafters rumbled with the claps and stomps.

I spared a glance at Roman. He nodded. “Let me leave you with this, more than a thank you, more than a promise of how much you’ve meant to me. A wise man once said, if there’s something you want to do or something you want to be, don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t. If _anyone_ tells you that you can’t do something, you put two fingers in the air, and you march forward and you tell them that _the Shield said so!_”

I dropped the mic on the mat, my lip trembling as I climbed these ropes for the last time. Seth and Roman took up their places on the turnbuckles, both of them turned to face me. We stood there for a long moment, drinking in the sound of the fans saying their last goodbyes. I hadn’t been a Hound for long, but to the WWE Universe… to the three men who had made me one of their pack, their family… I would always be part of the Shield.

Seth and Roman rolled out of the ring. I bowed my head, thanked my lucky stars that I’d been in this position. That I’d met these people who had changed my life in so many ways. When I climbed the ropes one last time, when I stepped up onto the ring post and let myself fall backward, I felt calm. Like ocean waves. Like the faint buzz of electricity. Like energy swishing through my veins.

They caught me easily, flipped me heels over head. We walked up the ramp, arms around one another. At the top, we turned to face the still roaring, chanting crowd. I breathed deep, swallowed hard. Glanced to one side, saw my husband, the love of my life, red-faced and glassy-eyed, trying like hell to keep it together. On the other, my brother, my dearest friend.

Fingers curled. Tape stretching against my skin. Arm extended, fists bumping together as the cameras roll out.

One final time.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

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“Daisy, come here,” I said, sitting on the top turnbuckle of the practice ring at Black and Brave. The structure bounced as the tall brunette climbed into the ring and bounced, warming up.

I hopped down and stretched my shoulders. “Let’s work on that collar and elbow lock up.” I took position—right foot forward, balancing my weight on a wide base, arms up, elbows soft, wrists and palms aligned. Across the ring, Daisy did the same. I studied her form carefully, watching for her balance and position.

We took a moment to look at one another. On a nod, we met in the center of the ring, chests parallel, right hands hooked around each other’s necks, left arms folded over, fingers wrapped around our opponent’s elbow.

I pushed her back and she stumbled, tripping over her own feet. I released, letting her wobble into the ropes.

“Again,” I commanded, backing up and taking position once more.

Daisy rolled her shoulders and wiggled her fingers. She moved first, rushing to the middle of the ring. I met her, slamming into the hold hard. She pushed, trying to do to me what I’d done to her. I tightened my hold on her neck, pulled down on her elbow, and shifted my weight to my front leg. My back foot popped up, bent at the knee, and slammed ball first into the mat to jam me in place. I pushed off with the back foot, using her force against her. She rocked back onto her heels and overcompensated, falling hard on her ass.

“Again.”

***

I sat in my favorite booth at 392 dport, watching people coming and going. There was a new guy who was training with one of our long-time baristas. He looked like he was picking things up quickly. Whenever they looked my way, I made sure to give him an encouraging smile.

The electronic bell at the door let out its _bing-bong_ as someone stepped in out of the rain. Familiar electricity snapped along my skin as Seth tugged down the hood of his zippered jacket and slipped behind the counter, saying his hellos and providing encouragement to the new recruit. Then he buzzed around the espresso machine, putting together the concoction of his that was stronger than anything I’d ever tasted. How he managed it, I’d never know.

He grinned as he slid into the seat across from me. I couldn’t help but smile back, seeing that little gap between his front teeth and the way his eyes crinkled. My heart dropped into my toes.

“How was class?” he asked, stretching himself out in the booth. He reached across the table, our fingertips touching.

“Daisy is struggling with the basics. Chris has what it takes to do well on the independents, but I don’t know if he’s pro material. Logan… I don’t know why he’s with us. He should already be signed to a promotion. He doesn’t need to train, he needs to compete.” I tilted my head to the side and watched Seth savor his caffeine concoction.

“I’m working on it. I might be able to get him a spot in ROH. Depends on who calls me back.” He curled his fingers around mine.

I felt my smile soften. He worked so hard for the students. I was amazed every day by the man he was—the husband, the father, the mentor, the teacher, the athlete, the friend. There was so much about him that I could love, and new things showed up all the time.

“Can we talk about my debut this week?” I asked quietly. Even though we seemed to have some common ground about my decision to sign with AEW, I was always afraid of how Seth might take the discussion.

A momentary flash of hurt. A faint dimming of wide brown eyes. There then gone again. Pushed away by a genuine smile and a thrum of excited buzz in the space between us.

“Right, you had that call this morning. How’d it go?”

Relief. Happiness. Gratitude. Emotions flooded through me faster than I could name them. “Good. So, I don’t know if you know what’s been going on over there, but Dean—Jon, I have to remember it’s _Jon_ now—is on his way to a title shot against Jericho. And Jericho has his goons, right, and they’ve been beating up on D—Jon a lot lately.”

Seth nodded. His expression was unreadable. I couldn’t tell if he was pleased with the idea that his former partner was getting his ass handed to him every week or not.

“They’re thinking he needs some backup,” he said knowingly.

It was my turn to nod. “I don’t know how they’re going to work in our ‘past partnership’ but they’ll figure something out. And they’re opening the door back up for intergender wrestling over there… who knows what might happen?”

“Is that the storyline they’ve got for you? His _friend_?”

Pressure, squeezing his fingers tightly. “I have almost full creative control on my character, Seth. And they actually _listen_ when you pitch story ideas. After I got off the call with Cody and the Bucks, I had a seriously long talk with Jericho. This is a good place for me.”

Quiet descended for a moment, broken only by the hiss of the espresso machine and the _bing-bong_ of the door. I watched him, hoping that he would understand.

“If you’re happy, then that’s all that matters,” he said at last. His fingers reached out and twined around mine, squeezing gently. “I’m sure you’ll be running the place in a month.”

I gave him a sideways smile. “Will you watch?”

“With Sefina if I can. She’s going to know that her mother is a badass.”

***

Nerves made my stomach turn. A tingle burst to life along my skin. Static buzzed in my ears. My heart pounded. The world was lit up in Technicolor.

It was the moment before a lightning strike. The awe of watching the water rush from the shore before a tsunami strikes.

I bounced in gorilla, feeling my heart jump into my throat and back again. Warmth slipped into my limbs. Time compressed. Stretched out then rushed by. 

“You okay?”

I turned to see Kenny approaching. He had opened the show with a killer match. You wouldn’t know it to look at him. He wore an AEW hooded sweatshirt and jeans, his two-toned hair somewhere between fluffy and damp. His hands were stuffed into the pockets of his sweatshirt. Kenny had been kind to me since the day I set foot in the doors of AEW. 

“Yeah,” I said, doing a little shoulder wiggle like Jon used to do. Adrenaline spilled into my veins. “I’m ready to get out there. It’s amazing to be nervous like this again.”

Kenny nodded and grinned, closing the space between us. He settled his hands on my shoulders and squeezed. “You’re going to be fantastic. I promise you; it’s going to be just as big of a moment as when Jon showed up. Maybe even bigger.”

I grinned back and bounced once more. “Thanks, Kenny. Security ready?”

A guy dressed all in black nodded from the corner. Kenny gave me one last squeeze on the shoulders before pushing me gently toward my escort. I followed the surly security guard out to the concourse. A few fans were at concessions or coming back from the merch table. At least two of them recognized me. I grinned and put my finger to my lips.

At last, there I was. Standing in the tunnel that led to the floor level. AEW venues were smaller than the arenas I was used to. I missed coming from deep within the fans, but there was more space to ham it up this way.

It reminded me of my days with the Shield… coming in through the crowd.

My security and I stood in the tunnel out of sight from the fans. I could see what was going on in the ring, waiting on my cue. Jon was in the ring, Jericho and one of his goons, Jake Hager, across from him. Both Jon and Jericho had mics, talking shit and throwing threats, running up the hype for the pay-per-view that was coming up. They had the main event for the championship.

Their feud was legendary. And that final match was going to be brutally beautiful.

Unsurprisingly, it all broke down into a brawl. Jon launched himself at Jericho and started wailing on him. Hager joined in the fight, turning the scrap to Jericho’s favor. I watched as Jon burst through them, creating some space to catch his breath. He let out a roar and, the moment he got his breath back, ready to launch himself forward again.

“Here I go,” I whispered.

My music hit, the guitar heavy rock anthem spilling through the speakers. I took a deep breath and took off running. Jon stopped, so did Jericho and Hager. All looking toward me. The crowd popped, vindicated in their belief in the dirt sheets. My debut had been anticipated for months. I could only imagine the announce team.

“Is that…?” Excalibur questioned.

“Looks like the rumors were true!” Tony Schiavone replied.

“That’s Leighton Black!” JR shouted. “Jon Moxley’s old tag team partner!”

I hopped the barrier and slid under the bottom rope. I jumped to my feet and took off toward Jericho. Jon slammed hard into Hager, knocking him onto his back and slamming closed fists into the bigger man’s head. I ran at Jericho, but he dropped to the mat and rolled out to the outside. He scrambled to the ramp, yelling for Hager to follow.

A moment later, it was just the two of us—Jon and me. For the first time in what felt like forever, we stood across from one another in a wrestling ring. He looked at me, the light in his blue eyes so bright they looked like ice. We grinned at each other.

My heart thumped with joy.

Jon grabbed me up in the center of the ring, lifting me off my feet and hugging me tightly. When he set me on my feet, he pressed his forehead to mine and held my head between his hands.

Just like he used to.

“It’s good to be back, dollface,” Jon said just before dropping a kiss on the top of my head.

We turned together, facing the still retreating Jericho and Hager. Jon started shouting, talking smack about what he was going to do at the pay-per-view. He hooked his arm around my neck, dragging me toward the ropes. Jon climbed up on the middle rope, leaning over as he shouted taunts and obscenities at the retreating Jericho and Hager. 

Jon hopped down and turned toward me, the grin on his face as bright as the one he wore during our very first TV match together. My heart missed a beat, stealing my breath. I closed the distance between us and grabbed him by the shoulder. He spun around, still grinning and swearing. I smirked and kicked out, hitting him square in the stomach, doubling him over.

I hooked his arms and snapped him toward the mat—flattening him out with his own finisher. The Paradigm Shift… the move I’d used a thousand times, the one I’d known as the Dirty Deeds. The moment the mat reverberated with the impact, the crowd exploded with jeers and shouts.

I tucked the tip of my boot under Jon’s body. I rolled him over onto his back and stood over him, one boot on his chest. My gaze went to the ramp, where Jericho stood with his title on his shoulder. He raised a mic to his lips.

“Leighton Black!” He grinned sadistically. “That’s my girl.”

I grinned back, unzipping my AEW hoodie to reveal an Inner Circle t-shirt. _Judas_ thundered through the sound system. I slipped beneath the bottom rope and sauntered up the ramp toward my new faction. The camera swept by me. I stared into the lens, giving a dramatic shrug and saying, “Sorry, Jon. It’s just business.”

_Oh_, I thought as Jericho swung a free arm around my shoulders, _this is going to be fun. _


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

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I was sharing a dressing room with Nyla Rose. As terribly frightening as she was in the ring, she was a sweetheart backstage. My heart was beating a thousand miles a minute as I hopped down the steps from the stage and made my way back into the bowels of the arena. She was already waiting outside the door when I came back, her newly won AEW Women’s championship folded on the top of her suitcase.

She grinned. “Did you hear that pop?” Her eyes twinkled as she leaned against the door. “The second they give you a face turn, they’re putting you in the title picture. I guarantee it.”

I shrugged, incredibly pleased at her praise. In some ways, she reminded me of Becky. “And I’m going to get squashed if they put me up against you.”

Nyla made a face and rolled her eyes. Her attention was suddenly drawn to something over my shoulder. “Looks like the welcoming committee is here.”

Turning around, I saw Kenny, Cody, and the Young Bucks strutting down the hallway, all four with bright smiles. Before they could get close, Jon came barreling down the corridor, sleeveless hoodie sticking to his sweaty skin. He beamed as he burst through the Elite and snatched me up in a tight hug.

“You are fucking brilliant, dollface,” he shouted, squeezing me so tight I couldn’t breathe. He planted a loud, firm kiss on my forehead. “That’s a debut for the ages.”

I laughed as I hugged him. “I had to top yours, didn’t I?”

He turned me around on the spot and then put me back on my feet, grinning from ear to ear. As soon as he released me, he clasped both hands on the sides of my head and smacked my forehead with another wet kiss.

“Is this normal?” Matt Jackson said as they finally made their way over to us. He pointed between Jon and I, one brow raised in question.

Euphoria. Centered and buzzing with energy. Settled firmly rooted to the ground beneath my feet.

The corner of my mouth tipped upward in a smile as I looked up at Jon. “Yeah.”

The elder of the Young Bucks nodded. I could see the wheels turning in his head. “Don’t even think about it. I will be his tag partner, his backup, anything else… but no romance angles. Not with him.”

Matt held up his hands and glanced sideways. “What about Ken?”

My eyes slid to Kenny, who looked me up and down and wrinkled his nose. I tried to look shocked, but couldn’t. Instead, I returned his scrunched look and stuck out my tongue.

“We’ll work on that,” Nick Jackson said, tucking his hands in his pockets and leaning against the wall. “Welcome to the family, Black.”

A rush like a cool wind rushed over me. Stronger as I glanced around the gathered Elite. It was something new, something fresh, radiating from the four of them. My heart settled into a steady rhythm, soothed into contentment by the frenetic energy that always followed Jon.

I had thought I’d lost my family when Jon left WWE, when the Shield shattered for the last time. But I still had Seth. I still had Roman. And even though he had been far away, I still had Jon.

Now, I’d found a new family. One that was so very much like my first. But so very different in a wonderful way.

“Hey, Black!” I turned at the sound of my name. Chris Jericho was standing at the end of the hallway, Sammy Guevara nearby. “You’re one of the Inner Circle now. You don’t have to deal with that Elite trash.”

He laughed and winked. I threw him the finger even though I was grinning. “Only on camera, old timer.”

***

Seth was asleep on the sofa when I slipped in the garage door. I could see his feet hanging off the edge of the cushions. As quietly as I could, I tucked my suitcase out of the way by the door and tiptoed toward the living room.

Desperate devotion slammed into my gut. A rush of joy spilled through my limbs in a torrent.

My husband was sprawled out on the sofa, our daughter cradled carefully on his chest. He had one hand on her back, the other just beneath her bottom. Seth was snoring. Sefina was drooling on his chest.

I dug my phone out of my pocket and snapped a photo. Although I would never forget the sight, I wanted to frame this moment and keep it forever.

After tucking my phone away, I tiptoed over to the edge of the sofa and sank down to the floor. I brushed flyaway strands of Seth’s hair back from his forehead. His mouth twitched into a faint smile as he turned into my touch.

His lashes fluttered, his brown eyes opening, looking up at me groggily.

“You’re home,” he murmured, words slurred by sleep.

“Yeah,” I replied quietly, leaning over to press a kiss against his temple. “Were you waiting up for me?”

Seth scrunched his face in that way that made my heart skip a beat and feel light at the same time. “No. Why would we be waiting up for you?”

I grinned and rested my head against his shoulder. “Because you missed me.”

I felt his lips settle on the top of my head. My fingers rested against his, splayed out protectively over our daughter’s sleeping form.

“We always miss you,” he said sincerely. “Every second we’re apart.”

***

We stood over Sefina’s crib for a moment, watching her sleep. She kicked her legs and grasped with her fingers when we put her down, but she didn’t wake. I leaned against my husband as he wrapped his arms around me, the warmth of his body sinking into my limbs, mixing soothingly with the snap of electricity that I always felt with him.

“Let’s go to bed,” he said after a while. Seth twined his fingers with mine and drew me down the hallway to our bedroom. It hadn’t changed much since that first visit I’d made to Davenport. The bed was still wrought iron and covered in black sheets and the dark grey comforter. There was still piles of CDs and a long, low shelf of worn paperbacks beneath the television.

The only thing that had changed was the addition of a collection of framed photos arranged on the wall. Our marriage license. The two of us at our wedding. A photo from the WWE charity night with me in the ombre dress. A collection of snapshots at Black and Brave—some with me in a wheelchair, some in my brace, and others with me as healthy as I’d ever been. The day we brought Sefina home.

Seth stepped up behind me, his arms slithering around my waist, palms gliding up beneath the hem of my shirt. He nuzzled his nose against the curve of my shoulder. I could hear him breathing in the scent of me.

He kissed the side of my neck, drawing me tight against the hard muscles of his chest. I tipped my head back against his shoulder and closed my eyes. His hands crept higher, fingers settling over my breasts. It didn’t matter that I was tired. Or that my leg tingled on the verge of aching. The only thing in the world that meant anything to me in that moment was the feel of Seth’s hands on my body.

He tugged my bra out of the way, fingers and thumbs pinching almost painfully at my nipples. His cock ground against my ass. I let out a soft whimper as he pushed one hand below the band of my leggings and underwear. He growled against my ear as his fingers slid between my legs and deftly found my clit. One circle of his fingers was enough for my knees to go weak.

“Colby,” I sighed. He pushed his hand further into my underwear, fingers slipping along my folds and sinking slowly inside me. Seth pressed his thumb against my clit, pumping his fingers into me as he kneaded my breast and nipped the line of my throat.

He tugged at my earlobe with his teeth. “I’ve missed that,” he said quietly. “The way you say that name when you’re about to come.”

The words were enough to send me over the edge. I came apart in his arms, shuddering as I tried to stay quiet. A moment later, Seth folded me over the end of the bed. The air was cool against my skin as he tugged my pants down and slid swiftly inside me. I bit the blankets, desperate to stay quiet as he fucked me into oblivion.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

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Heart pounding. A desperate rush of adrenaline into my veins. Deep breaths. My first showing with the Inner Circle. And it was on a pay-per-view. I bounced, working warmth into my limbs, rolling my shoulders. This was the moment that would make that debut worthwhile.

I dressed in my gear—Daisy Duke style denim shorts over dark tights and fishnet stockings, a tight zippered camo top, and combat boots—and made sure that my makeup and hair was done. That was something different about AEW that I liked, most of the time. I could control my look. Sure, I had to go heavy handed for the cameras, but I didn’t have to deal with horrible makeup ideas that made me look stupid.

The one thing I hated was that I had to pay to keep my hair done these days. The red had faded more than I liked, but Leva Bates had taken to helping me out with it.

Jericho stepped up nearby, bandana on. His jacket was studded with two-inch long spikes. I was pretty sure it was the same one that he’d used to put Jon’s eye out. Santana and Ortiz were just behind him—Santana with a bandana over his face and dark sunglasses—with Hager and Sammy not far away. The latter looked me up and down with a smirk.

“Looking good, Black.” Sammy said nastily.

I smirked. “Try something, Guevara, and see what happens.”

Jericho grinned and made sure that his AEW championship was tight around his waist. I grinned as I pulled on a pair of fingerless gloves. “Keep it in your pants, Sammy. She’ll kick your ass before you can blink.”

Before he could say anything else, music swelled through the arena. Jon’s entrance began and I could hear the pop for him when he appeared out of the crowd. I watched Jericho’s mouth turn down at the sound of people screaming for his opponent.

There was a sudden quiet and a choir began singing. I rolled my eyes at the pure drama of it. Jericho had gotten himself an entire church style choir to sing his theme, even though he knew his version would play before we walked out.

“Big Hurt, Sammy, you know your jobs. Don’t let me down.” Jericho turned toward me. “And you know what you’re supposed to do.”

“Of course I do, Chris. And we’re going to make it look perfect.”

***

There were only three of us at ringside—me, Santana, and Ortiz. Jon and Jericho were fighting like caged animals in the ring, doing their best to destroy one another. Every time Jon caught sight of me, I smirked and stayed in his line of vision. It was enough of a distraction that Jericho could get a few good shots in every now and then.

About halfway through the match, Jericho had Jon tight in the Walls of Jericho right in the middle of the ring. I paced outside the ring watching the whole thing, keeping my eye on where Aubrey was, waiting for the moment when I could make a move.

It happened when Jon was caught deep in the Walls of Jericho. I stood between Santana and Ortiz opposite the hard camera, leaning on the apron. Jericho was facing away from us, which made Jon have to look square at me.

I pressed my palms against the apron and started beating out a rhythm, yelling into his anguished face. “C’mon, Jon! C’mon… you’re almost there!”

There was a flicker of something like hope in his visible blue eye. As if he thought all of this had been a mistake or a ruse to trick Jericho. I wrapped my fists around the bottom rope and pushed it toward him, cutting off a few inches he would need to crawl to break the hold. Santana kept an eye on Aubrey, snatching at her foot to distract her when she started paying too much attention to where I was.

Jon crawled along the canvas, reaching out for the rope I’d pushed toward him. As soon as he got within grasping distance, I smirked, put my foot up against the apron and pulled the rope back as far as I could.

Unfortunately, Aubrey saw me. She slipped between the bottom and middle ropes and started railing at me, waving her finger in my face. I let go of the rope and stepped back, both hands up over my head. I backed all the way into the security rail and laughed, even thought people in the first row were shouting horrible things at me.

That was when I knew I’d done a good job… that they were starting to believe that I was a heel. And fucking over Jon Moxley seemed to be a good way to get on the fans’ bad side.

Jericho wasn’t happy. I could hear him shouting and cursing as he paced the ring. He pushed and crowded Aubrey toward the ropes, getting in her face. I knew this part of the plan. If it looked like he was going to lose… he had to get disqualified. By any means necessary.

Aubrey looked him over after he pushed her hard enough to make her stumble. Santana and Ortiz grabbed Jon by the ankles and started dragging him toward the apron, but he kicked free and got to his feet.

Just in time to get a glimpse of Jake Hager before getting sucker punched right in the face. It was a beautiful blow that knocked Jon clear on his ass.

Unfortunately, Aubrey saw it. The four of us—Santana, Ortiz, myself, and Hager—we stood ringside looking as innocent as we could. All of us with our hands up, shouting false pleas that we’d done nothing wrong. She pointed at each of us in turn. Santana and Ortiz climbed onto the apron, cursing and begging.

Aubrey wound up… and tossed all four of us from ringside. I let out a scream of frustration and beat the apron with my fists. My fellow Inner Circle members stood on the ramp, Aubrey leaning over the ropes to yell at them. Somehow, for an instant, she’d forgotten I was there. She climbed through, getting up into Hager’s face.

I looked back toward the audience, grinning as I saw Sammy Guevara running up and vaulting the railing. Rolling my eyes at his choice of attire, I slid into the ring. Jon was down on his knees, still reeling from Hager’s punch. In an instant, Sammy had snatched up Jericho’s title and tossed it into the ring. I snatched it up and hit Jon square in the chin with a running lariat, title in hand.

Rolling under the ropes, I tossed the belt back to Sammy, who hurriedly jammed it back on the ringside table. Together, he and I jumped the security railing and took off running toward the concourse. Fans yelled and booed as we ran by. I couldn’t stop laughing.

Security met us at the concourse entrance and guided us around to the backstage area. Once we were safely out of view, I ran to the nearest monitor and crowded up into the Elite, all of whom were watching the match with interest.

“Budge up, Hangman. Make some room,” I said, elbowing Adam Page out of the way. He chuckled and scooted a steel chair behind him for me to stand on. Grinning, I leaned over, forearms digging into his and Kenny’s shoulders for balance.

The match continued on. Blood dripped down Jon’s face from the shot he’d taken to the ring post early in the match. Jericho hammered his left side with punches and forearms. Just as it seemed Jon was going to hit him with the Paradigm Shift, Jericho went for his good eye.

“You son of a bitch!” I shouted at the monitor, blood boiling.

“You say that better than Kenny,” Nick called from the end of the row.

“Fuck off, Jackson,” Kenny retorted playfully.

“Hey, fellas. There’s a lady present!” Hangman declared, looking slightly concerned.

“You can mind your goddamn business, Page,” I snapped back even though there was a wide grin on my face. The cowboy laughed and shrugged, almost causing me to lose my balance.

Jon hobbled around the ring, trying his best to find Jericho. Jericho taunted him, keeping just out of reach of the clubbing blows that Jon could deliver. For a moment, it looked like Jericho was going to be able to deliver the Judas Effect. He ran at Jon, who was struggling to get to his feet. In an explosion of movement, Jon burst at Jericho and hit him hard with a sloppy sort of Paradigm Shift.

Smirking like the devil, he lifted the patch off to reveal a perfectly healed eye. I squealed at the pop that rattled the roof. Jon turned just as Jericho ran at him. One kick to the gut and an elevated Paradigm Shift later, Aubrey hit the one… two… three…

“Hell yes,” I shouted, popping up so fast that I wobbled on the chair. I let out a yelp as I tipped, slipping sideways.

Before my body slammed into the concrete, I landed in a tangle of cradling limbs. The Bucks grinned as they set me on my feet. “Watch yourself,” Nick said laughing.

I smacked him on the shoulder. “Thanks, Jackson,” I said, wriggling past him to stand in front of the monitor. Jon was in the ring, his title in his hands, talking and celebrating and cussing. He was grinning in a way that I hadn’t seen in a long time. I wanted desperately to go down to the ring to and help him celebrate.

Jericho came charging through the curtain into the backstage area. He glared the moment he laid eyes on me. “What did I tell you about that Elite trash, Black?”

I rolled my eyes and peeked around Nick’s shoulder. “From where I’m standing, they’re the ones with gold. You just got your ass kicked.”

“Because you couldn’t do your job! Don’t think about screwing me over. If you think you’re going to cost me my title and then run back to Moxley, you’re either an idiot or a moron.”

My blood burned. I pushed past Nick and shrugged off Matt’s searching hand. I stalked up to Jericho and stared him down, even though I had to look up at him. “Chris, do us both a favor and shut your mouth. And go fuck yourself.”

I flipped him off and shoved Sammy out of my way. From behind me, I could hear Matt and Nick laughing. I ignored them all and made my way to Jon’s dressing room to say congratulations.

On the way, I stopped and grabbed my phone from the female talent locker room. There was a message on it from Seth. I opened it to find a picture of him, Sefina in his lap, Kevin curled up beside him. Another came in just after… a snapshot of the TV in the living room paused at the exact moment I’d clocked Jon in the face with the belt.

_Nice shot! And I LOVE that gear on you. _

I grinned like a fool, glad that I’d changed my mind on wearing my Inner Circle shirt.

“Dollface!” I turned at the sound of Jon’s voice. He was beaming, the title draped over his shoulder, as he ran down the hall and swept me in his arms. Jon was sweaty and still oozing blood from the cut over his eye. “Did you _have_ to hit me that fucking hard?”


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

_(GIF owned by imforeverjustyours on Tumblr)_

The house in Davenport was bursting with noise. I was in the kitchen, pulling a ham from the oven, while Seth pulled plastic plates from the cabinet. The counter was piled high with food—green beans, cooked carrots, mashed potatoes, gravy, roasted corn, biscuits, hot baked apple pies—and cheesecakes waited in the fridge. Our dining table was nowhere near big enough for the group who had joined us for an early Easter dinner. Luckily, the weather was nice and we could eat outside.

Roman swept through with Sefina on his hip and his daughter JoJo trailing right behind. He plucked a carrot from the pan, blew on it, and held it out to Sefina, who gummed it apprehensively. “Fingers out of the food!” I called over my shoulder when I caught him.

He laughed and rounded the counter, dropping a kiss on the top of my head. “_Aua e te faʻalogo i lou tina faʻamaoni_,” Roman cooed to his goddaughter.

I turned toward him, brows raised. “Did you just tell my daughter not to listen to me?”

“Maybe,” he replied before snatching a biscuit and dashing out of the room, JoJo on his heels. 

I rolled my eyes as I basted the ham. “Everything ready?”

Seth smiled. “Yeah, want me to get everybody?”

I watched him walk toward our living room. He let out a yell and the noise died away. “Thanks for coming. There’s enough food for an army in there, so eat whatever you want. As much as you want.”

Leaning against the counter, I watched as friends old and new crowded into the kitchen, forming a haphazard line at the food. Jon and Renee were in the middle of the pile, talking to Roman’s wife, Galina. Jericho was at the front of the line, grinning and making jokes with my brother Bran. The Jacksons were there-Matt and Dana, Nick and Ellen, all their kids—and so were Becky and Alexa. Seth hopped into the back of the line behind Adam and his wife Amanda, easily starting up conversation with both of them.

“Seriously,” I said as Matt came by, “take as much as you want. Please.”

“Don’t say that around The Elite unless you mean it,” he replied, lifting one brow. When I nodded, he shrugged and started piling up his plate. I grinned, happy to see my new family fitting almost seamlessly with the old.

One by one, people passed by and loaded up their plates with food. Seth opened the backyard doors and soon, the party had spilled out onto the stone patio and beyond. The kids made use of a stack of patchwork blankets to have a picnic. The Jackson kids took up spots with JoJo and my nephews. Nick’s wife Ellen, her one-month old baby boy Michael in her arms, kept an eye on them.

“I’m sorry Kenny and Cody couldn’t make it,” Matt said. He, Roman, my brother Georgie, and I were sitting on the deck steps.

“Don’t worry about it,” I replied, looking out at the people milling about our backyard. I was happy to see Seth standing with Jon just like old times. For a moment, I was thrown back to the early days of my life in WWE. My adoption into The Shield.

Roman bumped me in the shoulder. “It’s good to see you again, _itiiti_.”

I grinned. “It’s good to see you too, _uso_.”

Matt and Georgie had become fast friends. They shared a love of basketball and had quickly devolved into a good-natured argument over which team was better—Carolina or USC. I was also pleasantly surprised to find that Matt got on well with Seth. But I shouldn’t have been surprised based on how much those two loved coffee.

***

Seth dragged the metal firepit out of the shed and set it up in the middle of the yard. He and Roman got it burning while Jon went in to grab the pile of marshmallows, chocolate bars, and graham crackers from the pantry. Matt, Nick, Bran, and Georgie worked together in a circle to strip some branches for roasting sticks. I sat with my sisters-in-law and Ellen and Dana. Sefina was curled up in my lap, her arms around my neck as she dozed on my shoulder. Baby Michael was cooing in his mother’s arms. The other kids swarmed Jon as soon as he appeared from inside the house, sweets in hand.

“I’m surprised they’re all getting along,” I said quietly, watching how Roman and Seth slipped into easy conversation with Matt and Nick as they prepped the firepit for the kids. “If only the dirt sheets could see this…”

Ellen chuckled. “None of them would ever admit it happened.”

“Of course not. Jericho can’t be seen hanging out with Elite trash,” I replied.

It had been almost a month since the pay-per-view, and I’d been spending most of my time with AEW running interference for Jericho and the Inner Circle, doing my best to distract Jon whenever I could. I’d attacked Jon from behind twice and, at least once, held his attention long enough for Jake Hager to sneak up from behind and choke him out. I could feel myself settling into my new life, but I missed traveling with my boys. It was strange to have so much time at home.

Jon started opening packages and created a quick assembly line with Bran, Georgie, and Nick. One by one, they spiked marshmallows and gathered kids around the firepit. Dads and uncles and godfathers and friends kept the kids back far enough that they wouldn’t get hurt, but close enough that they could roast their marshmallows. I grinned as I listened to them. Adam insisted that the marshmallows had be burnt black before they were done. Roman looked like he wanted to throw a punch over that.

I couldn’t remember the last time I was this happy. When I felt as fully loved and accepted as I’d ever been. I was so grateful that they had all taken the time to come with their families. That they would spend just a little bit of their free time with me.

***

“Are you sure you’re not upset?” Seth asked as I packed my new gear into a bag. Dynamite that night was going live from the TaxSlayer Center in Davenport.

An ache in my chest. Like my heart was being squeezed hard. A faint wishful sensation. The desire for what Jon and Renee had.

“It’s fine, Seth,” I replied, shouldering the bag and heading down the hallway to kiss Sefina goodbye. She would be asleep by the time I got home. “I know how Vince can be. You don’t want to be seen at the competition’s show.”

A spike of frustration. Maybe a little anger. I’d watched Britt Baker show up at WWE events with no repercussions on either side. Jon had popped up on an at-home edition of Backstage on FS1, but no one was told off.

But Seth was… Seth. And he was Vince’s golden boy.

“Llane… Sophie…” He snatched at my hands, pulling me back. “You know I’ll be watching. I haven’t missed a moment.”

I forced a smile and leaned up on my toes to kiss him softly. “I know.”

***

“Jon… Jon…” I stood at the top of the ramp, surrounded by the Inner Circle. Jericho stood at one shoulder, Hager at the other. “Don’t get too comfortable. You have something that belongs to us.”

Pacing in the ring, Jon slammed into the ropes, title over one shoulder. He held the mic up to his mouth, eyes wide and wild. “You know what, Leighton, I’m sick of your mouth. And I’m sick of you following Jericho around like a little puppy and doing his dirty work. All because he’s not man enough to face me again.”

I took a few steps forward. “_I_ should challenge you for that title, Mox. You know as well as I do that there’s only one person in this company who has your number. And it’s _not_ Chris.” I held my arms out, wiggling my fingers in his direction.

Jericho took the mic from me and, giving that smarmy grin of his, taunted Jon. “What d’you say, Mox? Huh? Are you a champion or a coward?”

I knew him. I knew the wheels were turning in his head. A little bit of Dean Ambrose slipped into his face. He paced, breathing heavy. He backed away from the ropes, running his free hand over his hair.

“I guess that’s our answer,” Jericho laughed. We backed toward the entrance tunnel, the entire Inner Circle smirking as Jon stood in the ring looking like a fool.

“I’m not the one getting a woman to do my dirty work,” Jon spat vehemently.

The Inner Circle turned as a unit. I took off toward the ramp, only to be caught around the middle by Sammy Guevara. I flailed, actually kicking Sammy in the shin, trying to get to the ring. I knew Jon was only talking shit, but I couldn’t help but feel fire in my veins at the fact that I’d been called just a “woman.” I’d trained with Jon. I trained with Seth and Roman. I could hold my own with any of them even on my worst day.

Jericho looked back at me and then toward the ring again. “Why don’t you find a partner, Jon. That is… if anyone in that women’s locker room can stand you. I know you have… _history_… in mixed matches.”


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

_(GIF owned by russeldearest on Tumblr)_

It felt good to be sharing a locker room with Jon again. As AEW champion, he got his pick after the Elite EVPs, and he’d insisted that I come along with him. Jericho didn’t like it, but he could shove it.

“You know they do things different here, dollface. This ain’t the MMC,” Jon said as he taped his hands and wrists.

I finished lacing up my boots and dug through my bag for my Black and Brave straps. “I know. Omega and I had a long talk about it before Chris threw this challenge out.” I looked over at him, grinning slyly. “Are you afraid to get in the ring with me, Jon?”

He glanced up at me, his lips curling up into a smirk and his blue eyes sparkling. “Don’t flatter yourself, dollface.”

My fingers stilled as I wrapped the tie around the wrist straps. “You are.”

“Not for the reasons you think,” he replied. “I can kick your ass in three minutes. And you know it.”

“Bullshit. I know you,” I retorted. “_You_ spent a year and a half training with me. Or have you forgotten that?”

Jon smirked and leaned back against the wall. “Trust me, Llane. I haven’t forgotten anything. But I’m not the same guy you rode with.”

Panic. An overwhelming thudding in my chest. I was thrown back to that night in our SUV that smelled like old Mexican food when he’d been Dean Ambrose and I’d been Llane Black and we were Llunatic Llane and then, all the sudden, we weren’t. He wasn’t resigning his contract. He was leaving us… the Shield… the Hounds… _me_. It shattered me. It completely, totally, and absolutely destroyed me.

Was it about to happen again?

My vision blurred. The world tipped out of rotation beneath me. I felt the bile burn up my throat. I gripped the steel chair beneath me and squeezed hard, hoping the pain would suck me back into reality before I slipped out of control. My ribs splintered. Shot through my skin and pierced straight into my lungs, my heart.

I gagged, unable to breathe.

“Hey, hey, Llane…” Snapping, wild energy swept into me. Jon’s fingers curled around my cheeks. “Hey, I’m here… take a breath… hey… come on, breathe with me.”

I felt my hand move, fingers pried away from the steel chair to press against the warm muscle of his chest over his sternum. The flesh rose and fell in a steady rhythm beneath my palm. Jon was solid. He was there.

My chest ached as I struggled to match his deliberate breaths. One at a time, I followed his inhale and exhale. Panic dribbled onto the floor, pooling around my feet and sinking into the concrete. I squeezed my eyes shut, focusing hard on the rise and fall of his body. The expansion and contraction of the sternum I’d felt against my cheek more times than I could count.

“Almost there, dollface,” Jon murmured soothingly. “You’re stronger than the panic.”

He bumped his forehead into mine. His hand curled up, curving around the back of my skull. I felt the air move between us as he drew it in and then blew it back out.

So close. The sweet, soothing feeling of air in my lungs. No more rushing pounding of my heart in my ears. Almost… almost the panic was gone.

“Dean,” I gasped, choking anew when the truth sucker punched me in the ribs. He wasn’t Dean anymore. That man was dead and long buried. And he wasn’t coming back. “I… ‘m… sor… ry…”

He squeezed his fingers against my skull. “Don’t. You don’t need to be sorry.” He pressed a brotherly kiss to my forehead. “I’m still him. And you’re still Llane.”

For the first time, I gave voice to the entity that drove my terror and panic for the last twelve months. “You left us.” I sucked in a breath, feeling hysteria setting in. “You abandoned us…” The sob broke me in half. “_Me_.”

“Oh, dollface,” Jon said pitifully. He pulled me into his arms, hugging me fiercely against his shoulder. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It was never about that.”

He squeezed me hard then gripped my chin painfully, forcing me to look at him. “I never meant to leave _you_. And I’m so sorry that I didn’t do a better job of telling you that. We’re _pack_. Once a Hound, always a Hound. No matter where we go. I’ve never stopped loving you, Llane. You’re my family. And you will be. Forever.”

I sagged against him, hugging him hard around the waist. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and kissed my head again. “Let’s show them how we do, dollface,” he said. “Even if we’re on opposite sides.”

***

Blood. Bright and red and tasting like copper and salt. Pain seared down my jaw from a busted lip. Jon stood across the ring, a light in his eyes that I hadn’t seen in a long time. I swiped at my mouth with the back of my hand and smirked, curling my fingers slowly into fists.

Jericho stood in the corner behind me, shouting obscenities across the ring at Jon and his partner, Kris Statlander. I laughed, shaking out my shoulders the way Jon used to. I wiggled my fingers at him.

“Come and get it,” I whispered, circling sideways with a snarling smirk. Jon gave a snarling laugh and took two steps forward, quickly latching onto me with an elbow-collar lock.

He shoved me hard into the ropes, only breaking when Aubrey demanded he let go. The moment he’d taken a step back, I swept low and knocked his feet out from beneath him. He landed chest first on the ropes and hit hard on his knees.

I slipped around behind him and landed a hard blow to the center of his spine. “C’mon, Jon,” I spat. “Get up. You coward.”

“That’s it, Black! Hit him in the kidney!” Jericho laughed as he shouted.

Statlander stepped out and tagged Jon on the shoulder. Aubrey called the tag and Statlander climbed between the ropes. She came at me with a heavy clothesline that knocked me hard on my back. The air shifted out of my lungs. She was bigger than me, snatching me up into a slam that rattled my teeth.

“You’re a coward, Jon!” I screamed as he rolled beneath the bottom rope to the apron. “Fight me!”

Statlander picked me up again, trying to lift me up into a vertical suplex. I blocked, wrapping my foot around her leg. I clubbed her in the ribs… once… twice… three times... enough to make her break her hold and let me loose. Overbalancing, I fell onto my ass. Statlander took a hard step toward me, and I crab-walked back to my corner, yanking myself up on the turnbuckles.

I felt the slap on my back and watched Jericho hop the ropes. I rolled onto the apron, sitting up to catch my breath and take a quick stock of injury and hurt. My lower back ached from my landing. I could feel a bruise beginning on my collarbone. And the outside of my thigh tingled with pins and needles. That alone was cause for worry.

With one good foot, I climbed to stand on the apron. Jericho had Statlander in the Walls of Jericho, smack in the center of the ring. She pounded the mat with her fist as she tried to curl onto her shoulder. He entwined his fingers, locking in the hold.

Jon stepped through the ropes, ready to charge in and save his partner. I vaulted over, wincing as I landed on my aching leg. Adrenaline kicked in, and I took off running. I swerved around Jericho and launched myself at Jon before he could break the submission. He came at me, a boot to my already aching midsection. I doubled over and he hooked my arms, lifted my feet from the mat and dropped me with a Paradigm Shift.

He rolled onto his side, back blocking the cameras. “You good, dollface?”

I let out a moan. There was a dull numbness ebbing and flowing from my hip down my outer thigh to my knee. “Numb.”

“Fuck,” he snarled.

The bell rang, and the crowd erupted with a mix of boos and cheers. Jericho was standing in the center of the ring, Aubrey holding his hand up in the air. _Judas_ played through the speakers. The ring rattled, bouncing as Hager, Santana, Ortiz, and Sammy came racing down. From the corner of my eye, I saw a dejected Statlander roll out beneath the bottom rope having eaten the submission to end the match.

I lost a few minutes, and then the next thing I knew, I was being hoisted between Jericho and Sammy. They looped my arms around their necks and helped me hop up the ramp. I could hear Jericho in my left ear, shouting down at the ring.

“What kinda champion are you, Mox? Look at what you did!” He pointed at me with his free hand. “Huh! What kinda champion does this?”

I turned toward Sammy and hung my head, letting my hair hide my face from the camera. “Shut him up and get me out of here.”


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

_(GIF owned by prowrestlingnow on Tumblr)_

The second we got backstage, Jericho looked down and saw me leaning heavily on Sammy. My heart jumped. Fear like something I hadn’t felt in years. Tears prickled at the corner of my eyes.

“Get Jon. Call Seth,” I said, gasping, desperate to hold back the tide of panic that threatened to drown me.

“You need a trainer,” Sammy replied, as if I didn’t know exactly what I needed.

“I _need_ you to shut up and _get **Jon**_,” I spat.

Jericho swept his arms under my knees and lifted me up. He glared back at Sammy and jerked his head. “Find Mox,” he ordered before stalking off with me down the corridor.

“Just fucking perfect,” I swore, banging my fist into the outside of my pricklingly numb thigh. “My first match and my leg just fucks off.”

“You landed wrong, that’s all,” he replied.

The Bucks appeared as we rounded the corner. Matt took one look at me and furrowed his brow in worry. “Llane, you good?”

“Her fucking leg is fucking numb… again,” Jon snarled out of nowhere. He stalked down the hall toward me, fire snapping in his blue eyes. He stopped in front of us, wriggling his fingers at Jericho in a _gimme_ gesture. “Hand her over. Right _fucking_ now.”

“Jon, I’m—” I started.

“You’re not _fucking_ fine, so don’t say it, goddammit,” he swore. He stepped forward and took me from Jericho’s arms. I smiled apologetically as Jon carried me off in the opposite direction, toward his dressing room.

My phone was ringing before we walked into the room. Jon snatched it up as he carried me over to the counter and sat me down, stretching my numb leg out. I swiped my finger over the front of my screen, unsurprised to find six missed calls from Seth.

“Call him,” Jon said firmly, pacing from one end of the room to the other, cracking his knuckles and dragging his hands down his face. “He’s going to kill me. Both of them are.”

“What? Jon, what are you talking about?” I asked, tapping out a message to Seth with the promise that I’d call him in a moment or two.

“This is why I didn’t want to fight you,” he said miserably. It took a moment for me to understand what he meant. And why he’d been so against getting in the ring against me in a real match. “You were fine until I DDT’d you.”

I scooted forward on the counter, already pins and needles were crawling up and down the outside of my thigh. My fingers went to my boot, tugging at the laces until I could kick the offending shoe to the ground. I looked hard at my toes, counting the time from thought to action. _Wiggle_… a fraction of a second later my big toe jerked.

“Jon, stop and look at me.”

He paced, more frantic than before. He raked his hands over his hair, the muscle in his jaw working as he ground his teeth.

“Jon,” I said again, the pins and needles getting more uncomfortable around my knee. “Jon!”

My ringtone trilled through the air. I glanced down and saw Seth’s face. I picked up, immediately going into soothing mode. “Don’t panic. I’m fine…”

“You limped out of the arena, Llane,” Seth said, voice thick with panic.

“It’s a blip. The doctor told us about these…” I watched Jon stalk the length of the room, getting more agitated as he went. I raised my voice, hoping he would hear it. “I’ve had them before. And I’m okay.”

My husband sighed. “One to ten, how numb are you?”

I relaxed, surprised that he wasn’t racing out of the house to get to me. “Two and dropping.”

“Ok,” he replied, breathing deep. “Do you need me to come drive you home?”

“No, it’s my left leg. I can drive.”

It was quiet on the other end of the line for a moment. I heard the faint whimper of Sefina in the background. Seth cleared his throat. “Tell Dea—tell _Jon_ that he’s welcome to stay here.”

“I will. Love you.” Once he replied, I hung up and sighed. Jon was _still_ pacing. “Jon. Jon! _Jon! **Jon!**_”

It didn’t matter how loud I yelled his name. He was so deeply caught up in his worry that he’d hurt me. I hopped down from the counter, my left leg giving just a little as I hit the floor. My knee ached, and the numbness in my thigh was slowly working its way back into feeling.

“**_DEAN!_**”

He stopped, looking my way with panicked eyes. As much as he said he wasn’t that person, it was clear that there was part of him that was still my Dean—my friend, my brother, my eye in the storm.

“I’m fine,” I said softly, talking to him just as I would a wounded animal. “I’m okay, Jon. The feeling is already coming back. It happens.”

Jon crossed the room and wrapped me in a tight-armed hug. He crushed me against his chest, his lips resting against my hair. His heart hammered against my ear. For a moment, I couldn’t tell if he was breathing.

“Llane…” he murmured at last, his voice low and broken.

I hugged him tight around the middle. “I know,” I replied softly. “It scares me sometimes, too. But you didn’t do this, Jon. My leg is always going to be like this.”

“It’s not fucking fair,” he sighed. “You deserve to have something good happen.”

My heart squeezed tight in my chest. “I did. I’m here, aren’t I?”

Jon hugged me so tightly that I couldn’t breathe, but it didn’t matter. For a moment, it was like nothing had changed. He was still Dean, the guy who became my best friend, my brother, who understood me when no one else could.

***

“So… you legitimately had to learn how to walk again?” Nick asked from the seat next to me. “Did you have to do training again?”

I nodded, flexing my foot and wiggling my toes. My leg was stretched out, KAFO brace going from thigh to ankle. I kept them in my bags, travelled with them just in case, but I hated that I had to wear it again. “Yes to both. I hated physical therapy. Like… loathed it. That was probably more depressing than being in the chair in the first place.”

“Did Rollins do your retraining?”

“Him and Marek together.” I laughed. “I was so clumsy. I’m surprised I didn’t lose my front teeth as many times as I hit the turnbuckle with my face.”

“Jesus,” Nick said, leaning back in the chair, tipping the brim of his ballcap up. “I can’t imagine… Mox was right. You _are_ a badass.”

I grinned, blushing just a little as I got to my feet. “You really want to see the badass? Put me and Jon together in a team. See you in a week, Jackson.”

Without another word, I hobbled off toward the parking lot with my bag over my shoulder. Jon was waiting by the door, the hood of his sweatshirt tugged up over his hair. “Took you long enough, dollface.”

“Sorry, I was talking to Nick.”

Jon winced when he looked at the brace on my leg. He held out his hand. “Keys. I’m driving.”

I tossed the keys to him and hopped myself into the car. My knee was already stiff from the KAFO, and I was ready to get home and get out of it. “You remember the way?”

He rolled his eyes. “Shut up. You’re buying dinner.”

Laughing, I sent Seth a text to let him know we were on the way. He answered pretty quick—mostly because he wanted a burger.

***

Seth was on the sofa, XBOX controller in his hand, Madden on the television when we came in. He glanced up, a worried half smile on his face when he saw the KAFO. It had been a long time since he’d seen me wear it. I didn’t have to ask if it bothered him—I could see it in the set of his jaw. The sight of it probably reminded him of those terrifying months after my surgery.

I know it did for me.

“Sefina asleep?” I asked, sinking down on the sofa beside him, my leg stretched out on the cushions. I wriggled my toes against his knee to show I was okay.

He nodded as Jon leaned against the wall. “I wanted to see the munchkin,” Jon whispered, looking longingly down the hallway.

“Go ahead,” Seth said, his lips tipping upward. “So what if she wakes up? She’ll fall asleep again.”

The two watched each other for a moment, then reached out to tap their fists together. Jon grinned sideways at him before ghosting down the hallway to Sefina’s room. He pushed the door open slowly and tiptoed inside. I could hear him whispering “hey, princess” even in the living room.

Seth dropped the controller on the table and reached over to run his fingers over the plastic and fabric of my brace. “I hate this thing.”

“I do, too,” I replied, wriggling my toes again. “But it helps when the numbness kicks in. I’m proud of you by the way.”

His fingers brushed my ankle. “Because I didn’t panic?”

“Oh, you panicked. I heard it in your voice.” I smiled. “You just didn’t lose your mind like you did when I was training to get back in the ring. You’re getting better.”

Electricity crackled along my skin when he smiled brightly, the gap in his front teeth as endearing now as it was the day we met. “You don’t give me a choice. But that’s a good thing.”


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

_(GIF owned by toosweetme on Tumblr)_

I walked into the restaurant, my brace making my movements clunky and uneven. Ever since the match against Jon and Kris, I’d been forced to wear it. Dr. Sampson, the AEW medical director, had gotten in touch with Dr. Thurman, my main doctor, and they decided together that the brace and a week out of action were required.

I hated it.

My first official AEW match and I fucked up.

I heard my name from a booth near the back of the dining room. Roman stood by the table and smiled. The radiant warmth of beach sunshine spilled over me. I could scent the salt spray of the ocean as he pulled me into a heavy, warm hug. He kissed me on the hair, his voice rumbling in his chest.

“_Lelei le vaʻai ia te oe, tuafafine laitiiti_.”

Safety. Home. Unconditional love and support. It all settled into my bones when I heard him speak.

“It’s good to see you, too, _uso matua_,” I replied, hugging him hard around the middle.

He pressed a kiss to my forehead and turned toward the table, gesturing to the other people who were there. “I brought friends.”

Hunter and Stephanie sat at the table, both bearing slightly worried but still welcome smiles. They stood and gave me their hugs in turn before the four of us settled around the table.

“How’s your leg, Llane?” Stephanie asked, leaning forward over the table.

I looked down at my leg and shrugged. “It’s fine. I’ve not been numb for days now. But the docs are being extra careful.”

Hunter nodded and draped his arm along the back of his wife’s chair. “They should be. You’re still doing your PT?”

He watched me with those knowing dark brown eyes of his. It reminded me of how my father would look at my brothers and I when he was grilling us.

“Yes, Dad,” I replied, grinning at him. “I go all the time. And Dr. Sampson makes me go through medical approval before I go anywhere near the ring.”

“Michael Sampson?” Roman asked as the waitress appeared with drinks.

We put in our order before I had a chance to respond.

“Yeah.”

“Good,” Hunter said firmly. “He knows what he’s doing. He used to work for us at the PC.”

It was the first mention of the fact that we were at rival companies. That they were the daughter and son-in-law of a man who hated the people who ran my promotion. I had thought, that last day in his office, that I’d never see Hunter or Stephanie again. Not until The Shield got into the Hall of Fame—if it ever happened.

After all, Vince could be petty and both Jon and I had jumped ship to AEW.

Stephanie smiled softly and reached across the table to take my hand. “We miss you, Llane. And it makes us happy to see you happy.”

“Trust me, _itiiti_,” Roman said, curling his arm around my shoulders. “That locker room isn’t the same without you. The ladies miss you.”

“And whatever else I think about that pissant company,” Hunter said, chuckling until his eyes crinkled, “I know you are going to be running that division soon.”

“I’m going to tell Billy you said that.”

Hunter leaned back in his chair and practically roared with laughter. “Oh, he knows. And he’s perfectly happy there, which is all that matters.”

***

Thuds. The sound of flesh in violent contact. The rumble of the boards beneath the canvas.

Black and Brave was busy as Marek and the other trainers put the students through their paces. Sefina slept in her stroller nearby, Seth’s hat turned sideways on her head, long ago used to the sound of a wrestling school.

It was her lullaby.

Seth was in the ring with a few of the students. They sat on the turnbuckles while he talked them through a sequence. I watched him mime the movements, walking the ring to block out the spacing of them.

I remembered the first time I saw him in this building. He was brilliant then. He was brilliant now.

“Maggie, give it a try,” he said, gesturing to a girl who was only a smidge taller than Alexa Bliss. Seth glanced over his shoulder at me, grinning softly. “Remember, use your strengths. Don’t wrestle like me… wrestle like _you_.”

After all this time, it was finally sinking in.

***

“Are you sure you’re good?” Kenny Omega asked as I walked down the hallway backstage. He was dressed in his gear, ready for a match against Sammy Guevara for the AAA championship.

I adjusted the strap of my brace around my upper thigh. “Sampson says so. I’m ready to get out of this thing.”

He nodded. “Let’s talk about what’s up for you next after the match.” We stopped in gorilla, and I leaned against the wall to take some pressure off my leg. One of the producers jerked his chin in our direction, and a camera pointed in our direction.

Kenny planted his palm on the wall near my head. His two-toned curls whipped as he shook his head. “Here’s the truth, Leighton,” he said faux seriously. “The faster we get you out of the Inner Circle the better.”

“What makes you think I want out?” I retorted, putting a lot of snark into my voice. “In case you hadn’t noticed, I don’t work alone.”

“C’mon, you’re a badass,” Kenny said dramatically. “The Elite could use someone like you.”

“Stop poaching, you pumpkin-headed dipshit,” Jericho said, appearing around the corner with Sammy in tow. They crowded in, trying to push Kenny away. “Black is Inner Circle. I brought her into AEW. She’s not going anywhere.”

I thumped Sammy in the chest, trying to draw his attention to wher I saw the Bucks coming up behind them. They stopped a few steps behind him, their arms crossed over their chests. Nick smirked. “You think she really wants to be part of your Inner Circle jerk?”

“You watch your mouth, Nick Jackson,” Jericho shot back. Sammy tried to slip his arm around my shoulder. I shoved him off.

Matt bucked up, getting into Sammy and Jericho’s faces. “Watch it.”

Kenny tried to wedge in between them. I rolled my eyes and sighed before dropping to the floor and crawling out of the pile on my hands and knees. When I was clear, I let out a whistle.

“Hey! How about all of _you_ shut the hell up?” I crossed my arms and tossed back my hair. “C’mon, Sammy, it’s time to win that title off Ramen Noodles over there.”

Sammy shoved his way out of the pile and threw an arm around my shoulder. I didn’t flinch. “See you in a few, Omega.”

We walked toward the entrance tunnel and out of the shot. As soon as we were out of camera range, he dropped his arm. “When did this angle start up?” Sammy queried as he stretched.

“Which one?”

He gave me one of his goofy grins and gestured between us. I laughed and swept my hair up into a ponytail. “_This_ isn’t an angle, Guevara. Point is that I’m a hot commodity—everybody wants me on their team. If the Nightmare Collective was still a thing, they’d be recruiting me too.”

“Dark Order on your doorstep?”

I rolled my eyes. “Mr. Brodie only takes the guys. Good for him.” I glanced at the schedule on the wall by the tunnel. Jon had a pre-taped promo. He wasn’t even in the building.

Before he could respond, a producer pointed at him and his music thundered through the speakers. _Sammy Guevara_. He bounced on his toes and pushed through the curtain. I followed right behind, serving as a second for the night.

“This match is a Triple A championship title match,” said Dasha from the ring. “Introducing first, your challenger, accompanied by the Inner Circle’s Leighton Black, from Houston, Texas, weighing one hundred eighty-five pounds… Sammy Guevara!”

As soon as Sammy was in the ring, Kenny’s techno-rock theme filled the building. He came stalking out of the tunnel, pausing at the top of the ramp. Pyro shot into the air.

“Your Triple A Heavyweight Champion, from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, weighing two hundred twenty-nine pounds… Kenny Omega!” Kenny didn’t move as Dasha finished his introduction. There was a split second of quiet, and then a heavy guitar riff spilled out of the sound system. Matt came running out of the tunnel still in jeans and a t-shirt. Dasha looked to the ringside producer, who shrugged.

“He is accompanied by one half of the Young Bucks…Matt Jackson.”

I looked up the ramp and grinned at Sammy. _Oh, this is going to be fun. _


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

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A flash of memory. Thrown back to that moment ringside at Wrestlemania right after my accident. Being there and watching Dean and Roman fight for the Universal title. For an instant, I thought I could feel my wheelchair beneath me.

I snapped back to reality just as the bell rang. Sammy and Kenny circled each other in the ring. The referee was Aubrey. _Damnit_, I thought. Ever since that stunt at Revolution, she’d kept a close eye on any of us in the Inner Circle when we were at ringside.

Matt was in the opposite corner, standing at the post and leaning against the apron. I paced along the side of the ring, eyes darting from Sammy and Kenny to Aubrey to Matt and back again. My thoughts were racing as I tried to come up with a game plan.

I hadn’t prepared for this. We’d prepared for Kenny’s busted hand, but not for a companion. Matt had called a fucking audible being at ringside.

The match started with a flurry of motion. A quick succession of waist locks, wrist locks, leapfrogs, and flips.

Sammy hit his opponent high in the chest with a drop kick. It knocked Kenny flat on his back, momentum sending him rolling beneath the bottom rope to the floor. The second he hit, I swung around the post toward him. But before I could get close Matt came charging over, glaring as if he dared me to do anything.

“What are you gonna do, Jackson?” I snarled, throwing my arms out. “Are you gonna _hit_ me?”

He ignored me, grabbing Kenny by the arms and practically throwing him back into the ring. Then, as if nothing happened, he took up his position in Kenny’s corner.

Almost as soon as the match resumed, Sammy was on the offensive. He whipped Kenny against the ropes and slammed his forearm over his throat, leaning him back over the top rope until he was balanced on his tip toes. Aubrey counted the five and then broke them apart. Sammy backed up just far enough to avoid being disqualified then hit Kenny hard in the face.

He rolled out of the ring on the entrance side, wiping at watery eyes and staggering toward the barricade. I took a step toward him, only to find that Matt mirrored every move. I’d lost my chance to get in a cheap shot because of it. Sammy came after his opponent, chasing him around the outside of the ring. He caught him near Matt, who backed away, as Sammy slammed Kenny’s head and injured hand against the apron. He let out a shout and hit his knees. Sammy dragged him up and ran him into the barriers, shoving him up into a corner and smacking him in the head.

I crept as close as I could, knowing Matt was marking every move I made. Anger slammed through me. I liked the Elite. They were great guys, but it was ridiculously unfair to use their EVP position to rewrite the show in their favor.

_Screw it_, I thought vehemently just as Kenny tried to mount some defense. He tried to whip Sammy into the barricade, but Sammy vaulted over it instead, landing catlike in place. The camera followed him. Aubrey’s attention was on him, trying to decide if she needed to start the count. I dropped to all fours and crawled along the side of the ring toward the post. I glanced around it to look for Matt, pleased to find him around toward the entrance side looking for me.

Before anyone could stop me, I rose into a crouch, darted around the post, and kicked Kenny in the hand with the heel of my boot. He cursed. I grabbed him by the hair, tugging him up to look at me.

“If the Elite can play dirty, so can we, EVP,” I spat. I drew my hand back, ready to smack him hard across the face. Before the blow could fall, fingers wrapped hard around my wrist, yanking me straight to my feet.

Matt whipped me around to face him. He practically dragged me around the ring back to Sammy’s corner. “Bad move, Black,” he said, loud enough that the cameras picked it up. He practically shoved me against the apron. “Stay here. And stay out of it.”

“_You _stay out of it, Jackson. _You’re _the one sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong.”

“_Me_?” Matt yelled, jamming his finger into his chest. “Last I looked, I’m not the one pulling cheap shots.”

I hauled back and slapped him hard across the cheek. As soon as I did it, I regretted how much force I’d put into it. Matt rocked to the side. His hand came up against his face, surprised to actually find blood on his lips.

He smirked and tapped his fingers on his other cheek. “Try it again, Leighton. I dare you.”

I was ready to scream. I _wanted_ to scream. Rage and frustration and a deep sense of unfairness burned in me.

Something slammed into my shoulder, throwing me sideways into the barricade. Matt looked shocked and took a step toward me. I blinked as spots flashed in my vision, my head bouncing hard against the metal and then the concrete.

I swore and tried to get my bearings back. For a moment, I felt nauseous. I shook my head to clear the cobwebs. Blinked to get rid of the spots dancing in front of my eyes.

“Leighton, you good?” Matt said quietly, leaning over me. The camera had swung back to the ring, giving us a bit of privacy. “Hey?”

I nodded, nausea roiling in my stomach. _Jesus Christ, I hope I don’t have a concussion_, I thought, sitting up slowly. It took a moment to get my bearings as I pulled myself up with the railing.

In the ring, Kenny hit the V-trigger, pinning Sammy clean to keep his title. Aubrey held up his hand, gave him his belt, and then went to check on Sammy. As soon as I was on my feet, Matt rushed away to join Kenny.

Empty. Hollow. The adrenaline and anger of the last half hour bled away in a flash. My leg ached… I’d landed on it funny. A headache started at the back of my skull.

Sammy rolled beneath the bottom rope and I limped over to join him. He threw his arm around my shoulder. “You good,” I asked through gritted teeth.

“Yeah. You?”

I shook my head a little, immediately regretting it. “Bashed my head. Someone hit me into the barricade.”

We made it backstage. Surprisingly, Matt and Kenny were waiting for us. Jericho was nearby, as was a medic.

“Go,” Jericho said sharply, jerking his head between me and the medic. “Jesus, Black, you’re more trouble than you’re worth.”

If my head didn’t hurt so much, I’d have rolled my eyes. Sammy handed me off to the medic. I sighed. “Somebody call Colby. If he saw that, he’s going to be a mess.”


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

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“Are you sure about this?” Tony Kahn asked. He sat across the table in the conference room at Daily’s Place. Kenny and Jon were there too. Neither of them looked phased at having a sit down with the owner of the company, but I was a nervous wreck.

“What do you mean?” I asked, upset at how quiet my voice was.

A thought. A terrible thought. Nausea slammed my stomach. I fought hard to stave off the vertigo.

“Are you… are you _firing _me?”

“No!” Kenny and Tony said together. Both of them seemed surprised that I’d even come up with an idea like that.

Jon tucked his arm around my back and watched the other two with wariness.

“You’ve had a rough start,” Tony said calmly. “Of course, we knew about your leg when we signed you. We just want to make sure that you’re comfortable with the direction we want to go with you.”

I felt my brow lift. “And that is?”

Kenny leaned forward, propping his elbows on the edge of the table. “You are one of the biggest draws we’ve got in our women’s division. We _want_ to put you in contention for the title.”

“I can’t take on Nyla. Seriously. I’m good, but with my leg… I can’t handle a lot of the moves she does.”

“That’s why she’s about to lose the title.” Tony leaned back. “At Double or Nothing, she’s going to lose to Shida. Then Shida is going to go straight into a feud with Penelope Ford.”

I looked between the two of them, not quite sure what to think. “But then where does that leave me? How does that get me into the title picture?”

Jon grinned. “They’re going to Flair you, dollface.”

“No. I’m not getting Flaired.” It was clear that neither Kenny nor Tony were familiar with the term. I rolled my eyes. “If you want me in the title picture, book me good matches. Let me earn my standing. Don’t just shove me in a match just because I’m a draw.”

Tony smiled. “_That’s_ the woman we signed. So how long do you want to hang around with Inner Circle?”

***

“Hey,” Seth said as he slipped his arms around my waist. He settled his chin against my shoulder and pressed a kiss to the side of my neck. “What would you say to a night out, just the two of us?”

I grinned, shaking the water off my hands in the sink. “And who, pray tell, is going to take care of Sefina?”

“Mom’s already on board. She’s just waiting for the word.” He took a step back as I turned in his arms. “We already spend so much time apart. Let’s have some time together.”

Seth looked at me with those dark doe eyes and pouted just a little. He stuck out his bottom lip. I couldn’t help but giggle. Cradling his face in my hands, I smiled and nodded. “I’d like that.”

He grinned, showing off the little gap between his front teeth. “Where do you want to go?”

A memory. Twinkling lights in the valley below. The scent of Chinese food and the feel of blankets in the back of an old SUV.

“Remember our first date?” I asked sweetly.

A look of nostalgia came over him. He leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. “What, you want to have bad takeout in the cargo space of a truck?”

I smiled. “I think so.”

Seth laughed, and it reminded me of the first time I’d met him, back when I’d been brought up from NXT and paired with Jon. It wasn’t a sure thing that it was going to last, but Stephanie and Hunter saw the chemistry we had. After our second match together, Stephanie pulled us aside and gave us the news—I was being put with the Hounds permanently. Then she’d taken me to meet the others.

Roman smiled and hugged me like we’d known each other forever. He was kind and made me feel like I was a little sister that he would protect. Jon was like my best friend already, but meeting Roman had given me someone else to rely on in the business. But Seth… there was something different about him from the beginning. He’d thrown his arm around my neck, pulled me in close, and put a kiss on the top of my head. Then he’d laughed and grinned, showing off that gap between his teeth.

I’d started falling in love with him because of that laugh, that grin, and the feeling of warmth it gave me.

“Yes,” I said after a moment, lost in the memory of that first time. “Let’s have bad takeout in the cargo space of a truck.”

***

This time, there wasn’t a valley spread out below us. Instead, it was the swirling flow of the Mississippi slipping by. Seth had backed our CR-V into a space on the river front. The back seats folded down and he filled the cargo space with blankets and pillows.

“It doesn’t feel like four years, does it?” I asked, sitting cross-legged against the side of the car. A tray of General Tso’s sat in my lap, chopsticks in my hand.

Seth smiled. “No,” he replied. “Feels like it did that first night.”

I grinned. “Remember the night you and Ro got into a fight in the locker room?”

“The way I remember it, it wasn’t really a _fight_. It was more Roman shoving me against the wall and threatening to send me back to Iowa in a body bag.” Seth chuckled and leaned back, stretching his legs out in front of him. We faced each other from opposite sides of the cargo space.

Laughter filled the space between us. “Roman was so protective.”

Seth let his leg dangle over the edge of the tailgate. “He still is, Llane. You have no idea.”

Sadness. Nostalgia. A thousand memories of moments on the road and in the ring. The first time I fell from the ring post into the cradle Seth and Jon made for me. Coming through the crowd with the Raw championship on my shoulder. Riding late in the night, asleep in the backseat of the SUV, wrapped in Seth’s hoodie, my head pillowed on his thigh.

“Did I make the right choice?” I asked suddenly. The memories of my time with the Hounds played through my mind. I tried desperately not to cry.

Seth leaned forward, taking my hand in his and squeezing. “You made the choice that was right for you. And none of us are upset at you for that. Besides,” he sighed, “who knows where you would be now? With Jon gone, the Shield was over for good.”

“I miss being with you guys. I miss sharing a locker room and the SUV and eating crappy food at three in the morning.” I sighed.

He drew me close and kissed my forehead. “Who knows, someday, we might get to do all that again. But right now… you have to do what you have to do. And that’s with Jon and AEW. But promise me something, Llane.”

I licked my lips nervously. Took a deep breath. Felt the ache in my chest relax just a little. “What?”

A grin spread over his face. “Fight like hell to get back to Jon. And when you do… burn through that whole roster. Take over. Run that place like only you and Jon can.”

***

“It’s a deal,” I said, standing at the door of Tony Kahn’s office. “But I have a few conditions.”

He leaned back in his chair and his lips curved up in a grin. He waved his hand, gesturing me fully into the room. “Let’s have a talk, then.”

“No offense, but I’m not doing this without Omega. And _none _of this gets back to Jon before we pull the trigger.”

Tony nodded, his grin getting bigger. “I knew I liked you for a reason, Black.”


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

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“Whips,” I said sitting on the top turnbuckle at Black and Brave. In the nearly three years I’d been with the school, my training routine had fallen into a comfortable pattern. The women trained with the men most of the time to learn the fundamentals. But a couple nights a week, they spent their time with me. Learning how to apply the fundamentals as a woman.

“Start in the middle of the ring. Whip your partner to the rope, spring off, wrist and pivot, exchange. Do it again.” I counted them off in pairs and called out the moves. One by one, the pairs went through the steps, sending their partner running into the ropes. The ring shook as they bounced off them and ran back to the center.

Over and over, one after another, they did it until they could execute the motion perfectly. When they’d mastered it, I hopped down from the turnbuckle and tested my leg. A glance at the clock let me know the class was almost over. I had twenty minutes before I had to close the building and pick up Sefina from Seth’s mom.

“Alright,” I said, rubbing my hands together. “One of the best counters to the Irish Whip into the ropes is to lock your arms around the top rope. Do it wrong and you _will_ get hurt. Jackie, help me demo.”

A tall woman with strawberry blond hair and wide black eyes stepped forward. She had a few inches on me, but she was so nervous that she often forgot to use her height to her advantage. She wiped her hands on the side of her leggings as she got close.

“We’re going to do the whole sequence. You lead.”

Before she could reach for me, I heard the door swinging open. I held up my hands and dropped down, sliding beneath the bottom rope and landing on my feet. My phone was on a chair on the far side of the practice ring. Marek was already gone.

“Llane? Where are ya’, lass?”

I grinned and practically sprinted across the room. “Becks!”

Becky Lynch walked in the front door of Black and Brave with a grin on her face. She grabbed me up in a hug that rocked back and forth. I was crushed with the weight of how much I’d missed her.

“How’ve ya been, girl,” she asked, holding me by the shoulders. She laughed. “Other than lookin’ pretty for Jericho?”

I laughed in return and took her by the hand, pulling her toward the ring. A few of the women stood in awed silence as the two of us rolled beneath the bottom rope. Becky was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt with high top sneakers and her red hair hanging free over her shoulder.

“We were just working on whip counters.”

Becky made a face and leaned into the corner. “Well, ladies, you’re learnin’ from tha best. Llane’s got a great counter.”

A thought. An idea. A desperately fun, slightly reckless idea.

I grinned. “Let’s show them, Becks.”

The redhead laughed and dropped into a quick succession of squats. She rocked her neck side to side and back and forth. Rolled her shoulders. Did a twist or two.

“Alrigh’, but remember you asked for it,” she teased.

The women around me crowded out onto the apron. Becky and I ran the ropes, moving quickly from one side of the ring to the other, bouncing off the ropes to propel us back across.

“Take it easy,” I said playfully. “You aren’t stretched.”

She looked out at the women on the apron and winked. “Already askin’ for a break.”

I cocked my head and jutted out my chin. We fell into a rhythm we’d known when we were in the ring together. For a moment, we faced each other across the ring. As one, we ran toward the center. I grabbed Becky by the wrist and planted my feet, pivoting on my inner leg to push her past me into the ropes. She bounced against them and pelted toward me. I softened my knees, automatically expecting her to throw her shoulder tackle.

Instead, she snatched me smoothly by the elbow and tugged me past her. She twisted her hips and shoved me toward the ropes. I turned and took the impact on my shoulders. My arms hooked back around the top and I pushed off from the canvas. Momentum carried my legs up and my core strength brought them the rest of the way over my head. An instant later, my feet were on the apron and already moving toward the turnbuckle. I had climbed to the second one before reality caught up with me.

Becky leaned against the ropes on the other side of the ring, a bright smile on her face. She nodded in approval.

Rushing white noise. The thump of my pulse in my ears. Vertigo swayed me.

Before I could blink, I was somewhere else. Back in that December night in an arena packed with screaming people. I saw the ladder rising up in front of me, the red and white of my title hanging just out of reach. I felt the hand around my ankle, the yank that set me off balance. The world swam in slow motion as I fell, my chin hitting the rung, twisting my neck unnaturally. A heavy, burning pain shot down my spine. And then… nothing.

It was over as quickly as it began. My fingers were wrapped around the turnbuckle pad so tightly that my knuckles were white. The skin stretched tight until I worried that the bones would split through the flesh. The air caught in my lungs, and I was suddenly reminded of the panic of being unable to control my own breath.

“Llane?” Becky said quickly, her tone serious and sharp. The ring rumbled as she raced over. “Sophie?”

I froze. Panic. Terror. A dizzying numbness.

“Alrigh’ ladies,” my friend called over her shoulder. “Class dismissed. Go!”

Becky stayed right in front of me as the women filed from the room. Shame settled in my gut. They paid for training. They should get it.

Once everyone was gone, Becky stepped through the ropes and wrapped her arms around my waist. “Le’ go now, lass,” she cooed. “I’ve got ya.”

My entire body trembled as she guided me down to sit on the apron. We stayed there for a moment before Becky helped me onto the floor.

I fell onto my back, barely keeping my head from cracking against the mats. Becky sat down cross-legged beside me. “Wha’ was tha’, Llane?” Her accent got thicker in the midst of her worry.

It took me a few moments to catch my breath. Air seared down my throat and into my lungs. The ache was almost enough to shove the oxygen back out again. No matter how hard I tried, I could still see the mat rushing up toward me. I could feel the crack as my chin hit the rung.

“I was back there,” I replied quietly. Every moment since that day replayed in my head at lightning speed. I relived every injury, every scare, every moment when I wasn’t sure if I was going to walk again. “I was back in that ring that night.”

Becky propped her chin on her knees. “There’s talk of her comin’ back,” she said slowly.

My eyes seared as if acid had been poured into them. All the fines in the world, all the medical bills paid for… none of it made up for the months of my life that had been ripped away from me. It wouldn’t soothe the terror I’d lived with in those days when I wondered if I’d ever walk or if Seth would be willing to stay.

“Of course. She’s licked her wounds from a loss like she always did. Now, they’re desperate to make up for the star power they’ve run off,” I spat. I thought of everyone who had walked away from WWE since Jon had gotten himself free. First Jericho, then Jon and me. Luke Harper, now going by Brodie Lee, and Gallows and Anderson had followed not long after. “Vince is hemorrhaging talent. Of course he’s going to throw his money at lady Lesnar.”

Becky snorted. “The locker room is rioting. Everybody. All three brands. People are threatening to walk if she shows up.”

“Don’t you dare, Becks,” I said, forcing myself to sit up. “You know how Vince is. He’s still being petty about the four of us who went to AEW. Don’t give him an excuse to go after you.”

“Easier said than done, lass. Seth and Roman are on a mission. They’ve whipped up everyone.” She grinned lopsidedly. “And, of course, I’ve been runnin’ the girls myself.”

The tears that beaded on my lashes this time weren’t from pain or fear. They were from gratitude. Becky was steadfast in her devotion and her friendship. Even though I’d walked away from WWE, Becky Lynch had refused to turn against me. In my absence, she’d done everything to prove her loyalty and her care.

“We’re not going to tell Seth about this,” I whispered. “Not right away. I’m going to call my therapist first. See if I can get in to talk to her. Maybe it’s stress.”

“My lips are sealed, Llane. But don’t wait too long.” Becky grinned sympathetically. “You know he gets.”


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

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I sat down slowly on the sofa in my therapist’s office. It had been a while since I’d seen her, and it felt weird to be there again. She looked me over with her wide, knowing green eyes as she took the seat a few feet away.

“How have you been?” she asked, opening a notepad on her lap and tapping her pen against the side of her knee. “It’s been a while.”

“Yeah, things have been busy.” I sank back against the cushions, stretching my leg out in front of me.

Her attention followed my movement. “You’re wearing your brace again.”

I sighed. “My leg has been giving me some trouble. Not a lot, but Dr. Thurman wants me to brace it for a while.”

She nodded. “Are you wrestling?”

“Not as much as I’d like. But there’s not a lot for me to do right now.” I sighed. “It’s frustrating, but I’m staying busy. I’m teaching more classes at the school. I have time with my daughter.”

I was shutting down. I knew the feeling. She could see it too.

***

“Have you seen that pumpkin-headed dipshit?” Jericho asked as he passed by me backstage.

“Who?” I looked up from the book in my lap. I’d gotten to the venue earlier than usual and was waiting for hair and makeup.

“Omega,” he replied, plopping down on the edge of the table in front of me.

I shrugged. “He’d probably in a meeting with Tony or the Bucks.” I paused, taking a deep breath. “If you find him, tell him I’m bored as hell. I want to get in the ring as more than just Inner Circle eye candy.”

“Black, you’re definitely not just eye candy. But you’re right. Time for you to get those wins under your belt.” Jericho nodded. “Santana and Ortiz are going after the tag titles. I want my belt back. And it’s only right that you get the women’s belt. Inner Circle are going to run the championship scene.”

Blink. The heavy thumping of my heart against my ribs. A knot in my throat that made it hard to breathe. Flashes of memory raced through my mind. The Hounds in the center of the ring, holding every title the brand had to offer.

“Hey,” he said, snapping his fingers in front of my face. “Anybody home?”

My pulse thundered in my ears, an echo of my sudden desperate trip through time. Ice slid down my spine as I forced myself to consciousness.

“Do I need to get Mox?” Jericho asked worriedly. His normally ruddy face had gone pale. His eyes were tight with concern.

I shook my head slowly, trying to catch my breath, to force the world upright on its axis. “No,” I said at last. “I’m okay. You just reminded me of something.”

His eyes softened. A faint smile tipped the corner of his mouth upward. “I know we’re not the same, but we can still be your family. You’re not betraying them by becoming one of us.”

Laughter spilled past my lips. “What if I don’t want to be Inner Circle for good? What if I want to go Elite? Or Nightmare Family? Or Dark Order? Or maybe I want to just run my own game.”

Jericho laughed, but his sounded worn at the edges. “I’ve known you for a long time, Black. And I know that you do exactly what you want to do for exactly as long as you want to. Until you decide to bail, you’re Inner Circle. And that’s family.”

“_Oye, mamí!_” Jericho and I both turned at the sound. Santana and Ortiz sauntered their way down the hall toward us. Ortiz grinned. “Long time no see, _princesa_.”

Santana leaned his forearms on my shoulders and rested his chin on the top of my head. “How’s the leg, _reina?_”

I glanced down at the black and red brace. “It’s good. Brace is basically just precaution these days. Most of the time anyway.”

“You sound pissed off,” Ortiz observed as he sat on the floor nearby. “Run into the EVPs already today?”

“She wants to hit someone,” Jericho replied for me. “I’m on my way to track down that pumpkin-headed dipshit Omega to get her a good booking.”

“Chris, I was joking.”

He grinned and pushed off from the table. “But I wasn’t. Better warm up.”

I watched him slip down the hallway shouting for Kenny. Rolling my eyes, I turned my attention back to Santana and Ortiz. The first swept around me and hopped up onto the table vacated by Jericho.

“We can pick a fight with Dark Order. They’ve snatched Ana Jay,” Ortiz said with glee. “The two of us—” he gestured between himself and Santana—“can take Silver and Reynolds.”

“Or Uno and Stu,” Santana added. His tag partner nodded, pointing back at him as if it was a genius idea.

I couldn’t help but smile indulgently. It reminded me of the moments when I sat back and watched Jon and Seth banter and bicker backstage. A stab of homesickness swept through me. The strangeness was that it wasn’t for a place, but for a moment in time. I missed the feeling that I’d had when the Hounds were together… that moment on the dock behind my parents’ house where I first felt like I was one of the pack.

Jericho’s words flitted through my mind. Maybe they weren’t the same as Roman, Jon, and Seth, but I could find a new home in AEW. I could make myself another family—not to replace the Hounds. Nothing could ever do that.

“Those are the only ones we can pick a fight with?” I asked, tossing my book on the table beside Santana. “The women’s division here is… severely lacking.”

Ortiz and Santana looked sideways at me. “Ah ah, _mamí,_ I know that look,” Ortiz cautioned, getting to his feet.

I pushed myself to my feet, taking a minute to get my balance. Then I turned on my heel and stalked down the hallway toward the EVP offices. I ignored the faint tingle in the back of my knee as I practically ran.

I knocked hard on the door of the office. My heart clawed up into my throat. Shuffling echoed from the other side.

The door swung open and Nick Jackson grinned at me, his blue eyes bright. “Hey, Black. What can I do for you?”

“I need to talk to Omega. I’m bored as hell, and we’ve got to do _something_ about this women’s division of yours.” The words spilled out before I could stop them. Probably should have thought carefully about what I was going to say before I practically insulted one of the guys who signed my checks.

Nick’s eyes went wide, but the corner of his mouth twitched up. He stepped to the side and gestured me to come in. My stomach turned upside down. I thought I was going to puke.

Kenny sat in a folding chair with a laptop open on the low table in front of him. He looked up as Nick shut the door behind me. I watched Kenny’s brow furrow, his blue-green eyes searching my face.

“Jericho’s already been here,” he said without preamble. “The show is full tonight.”

I crossed my arms and shifted my weight to my good leg. The brace felt stifling, as if it were an anchor that was dragging me backward. My heart was desperate to get through my ribs and out of my chest. “Tonight’s show is full, Next week’s show will be full. Dark is full. You brought me here to wrestle. To compete. But I’ve spent the last year being basically a valet for Inner Circle. I’ve had _three_ matches, Omega. _THREE!_ That’s bullshit. And you know it.”

Kenny’s eyes went wide as he sat back in his chair. “You have one women’s match on Dynamite and one on Dark, if we’re lucky. And if the match lasts five minutes, that’s considered a long one. If I wanted to sit on the sidelines, I’d have stayed with Vince. At least there I could get a match or a promo or _something_.”

Someone snickered behind me. I didn’t turn to see who it was. I kept my gaze locked on Omega, hoping that he’d know how frustrated I was with the way I’d been treated in AEW. There had been so many promises about how everything would be better than what I’d known. I’d left everything behind for the vision of a new wrestling promotion that was going to bring back the fun, the storytelling, the focus on providing fresh content. Jon had begged me to take the contract, gushing over how fantastic it was. But of course, he was a guy. And the men’s roster was bloated.

“What do you want me to do, Black?” Kenny asked, his voice gruff. He crossed his arms over his chest. “You want me to shoehorn a match in the show tonight? You want some TV time, is that it?”

Rage. Frustration. Desperation. A pure sort of anger that came from someone being purposefully obtuse.

“No, Kenny. I don’t want ‘some TV time.’ I want what you promised me. I want you to get your shit together and actually pay attention to your women’s division.” I drew a deep breath through my nose, desperate to calm the burning in my veins. “If you don’t, I want out of my contract. And I’m not bluffing.”

I turned on my heel and walked back out of the room. Nick caught my eye as I passed. He winked, giving me a thumbs up. I gave him a faint smile in return before I pulled the door shut behind me.

***

Sefina grinned as Kevin and Prince played in the floor around her. Her eyes had darkened to a chocolate brown that matched Seth’s, but her hair was a lighter brown that looked like melted caramel. I smiled at her, tucking whisps of hair behind her ear as the two of us sat together in front of the sofa. Kevin slipped and slid across the hardwood and plopped across my daughter’s legs. She carefully ran her fingers through his fur.

After a moment, she tipped her head back and looked at me. Her smile was slightly sad. “Want Dada,” she mumbled.

I looked at the clock, realizing that Seth would be in the middle of a live show just then. It would be two days before he came home. “Me, too, baby girl. Me, too.”


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

_(GIF owned by stellarollins on Tumblr)_

“No fucking way,” I said, looking at Jon as if I couldn’t believe what he’d just said to me. “Seriously?”

He grinned, running a hand over his gingery hair. “Yeah, she told me two days ago.”

I practically jumped from my seat and threw myself at him. My arms latched around his neck, hugging him so tight that I was sure he was going to stop breathing. I couldn’t stop laughing or crying.

“Congratulations,” Seth said from nearby. I could tell by the tone of his voice that he was grinning. “Do you know yet?”

I leaned back with Jon’s face still cupped in my hands. My gaze searched his cornflower blue eyes. I knew Jon well enough by now to know when he was telling the truth and when he was lying.

“It’s too early,” he replied shyly. He grinned in a way that reminded me of late nights on the road and heart-to-heart talks in a hotel room at three in the morning watching crappy cartoons.

I hugged him again, kissing his cheek dramatically. “I hope it’s a girl.” The words were whispered almost silently, barely loud enough for him to hear.

Jon wrapped his arms tight around me, squeezing until I thought my ribs would crack. It was the happiest I’d been in an awfully long time. “I hope so too.”

***

Sefina giggled as I pushed her along backstage. It was strange seeing everyone again after almost a year away. Vastly different from the moment when I left because of my injury. A few of them turned down different corridors, refused to look at me. But most of them smiled happily, waving, and coming over to coo over Sefina.

“It’s good to have ya back,” Becky said as she gathered me up. She hugged me hard. “It hasn’t been the same out here without ya.”

Before I could say a single word, she swept around to the front of the stroller and grinned at her goddaughter. Her voice lifted, turning beautiful and lilting as she spoke. “_Dia duit, mo chailín grin._”

Sefina giggled and reached for Becky. I watched my daughter wriggle with happiness, practically begging to be picked up. “Oh, go ahead. She’ll be whine for hours if you don’t.”

A moment later, Becky had Sefina on her hip and was heading toward catering. I watched them walk away, my daughter chattering at her godmother happily. Not long after, happy voices erupted from the lined tables. It wasn’t hard to discern Alexa, Bayley, and Sasha’s squeals of joy at seeing my daughter again.

“Llane,” someone said from some distance away.

Chills.

Spikes and ice.

Shivers and terror rooted deep in my gut.

A heavy weight settled against my chest, making it hard to breathe. The urge to run shot adrenaline through my limbs. It took everything I had not to give in.

I turned slowly, hoping that I didn’t look as completely terrified as I felt. My thoughts swirled, picking out glimpses and snapshots of the time before Sefina. Hospitals. Braces. Surgery. Numbness and pain.

Ten feet away, Ronda stood with her arms crossed over her chest. She was dressed in jeans, boots, t-shirt, and that jacket that always made rage burn in my throat. Piper’s jacket was too good for her. Looking at her made my blood pressure spike.

I didn’t want to be in the same room with her. Hell, the _same_ state.

My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth as I tried to speak. I could feel the words trying to put themselves together, to tell this woman exactly what I thought of her. To tell her everything she’d taken away from me. Before I could, the familiar sense of electricity crackled along my spine. I sank back even before Seth touched my waist, knowing that he would catch and hold me. He slipped one arm around my waist and quickly steered me down another hallway, leaving the woman who nearly killed me far behind.

“What _the fuck_ is she doing here?” Seth growled. His fingers tightened on my hip as he guided me into his locker room. I could feel the rage seething beneath the surface. His entire body vibrated with it.

For a moment, I thought that was the reason why my entire body was shaking.

The moment I reached it, I sank onto the bench. Ice slipped through my blood, crackling against my veins. Dizziness swept over my head. The world swirled, leaving me numb and frozen. Nauseated.

“Hey,” Seth cooed, crouching down in front of me. “Hey…. Llane… Sophie… it’s okay. It’s okay. I’m right here.”

The shivering made my teeth rattle. I ached all over. I couldn’t catch my breath long enough to ask him what was happening to me. “Co—Col—Colby…”

The rage in his face faded, became replaced by concern and worry. He dragged his gear bag closer and dug around in it. He found a sweatshirt, then tugged it roughly over my head. Another came out a moment later, and he wrapped it around my legs. Then he sat on the floor and pulled me into his lap, his hands rubbing furiously over limbs and my back to warm me.

“I want you out of here,” he mumbled against my hair. He hugged me close, curling me tightly against the bulk of his chest. Slowly, moment by moment, heat worked its way into my body. “Goddamn them for bringing her back after what she did.”

The air was rent by a sudden loud bang. The door burst open, ringing against the wall with a thud. Roman stalked in, his dark eyes nearly black with pure and unadulterated rage. His movements had an edge of violence to them as he crossed the room in just a few steps. Seth barely had time to protest before Roman leaned down and swept me up into his arms. I curled against his broad chest, breathing in the warm scent of ocean spray that always followed him. He clutched me tightly, his cheek against my hair.

For a moment, there was something like peace in my chest. It felt like I was back in our old, beat up SUV, Roman sitting at my side and telling me stories in that soothing voice of his. Seth was there, driving and singing along to the alt-rock on the radio, while Jon—back when he’d been my Dean—slept in the passenger seat, drooling on the window.

“I’m going to kill them,” Roman snarled, his arms tightening even further around me. I could feel the thunder in his words. “I am going to rip them apart with my bare hands. Every single one of them. Starting. With. _Fucking_ Vince.”

I whimpered at the rage in his voice. For the first time in years, I slipped back in time. Past Seth and Sefina. Past the Elite and the Shield. Past Hannah and Carl, Georgie and Bran. Past the sensation of being safe and loved. Past everything that made me feel worthy and like a human being.

It was so clear, so real that I could almost reach out and touch the faded fabric of the sofa next to me. The blood was hot and sticky in my hair and along the side of my throat. Pain lashed through my face with every sluggish beat of my heart. My eyes were already swelling shut, the flesh of my face mottled purple and black, the stark white visible along my right cheekbone and the curve of my chin. It was darker every second. A shadow lengthened over the sofa, backlit so that I couldn’t make out the features.

“Fucking kid. I’ll _fucking_ kill you.”

I knew this moment.

This was the moment when I almost died.

A scream rippled through the room. I flailed, wailing and thrashing. Arms tightened around me, a cage that made my terror spike. The memory of my foster father nearly beating me to death merged with the haze of the fall and everything that came after. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t see.

“_O fea lou tuafafine laititi?_” The words washed around my head, flitted through my brain. They came and went and came again like water lapping higher and higher on the shore. “Come on, _itiiti_, open your eyes.”

“Llane… Sophie…” Another voice slipped in with the other, a voice that made sparks flicker along my limbs. “Look at me, Sophie. Look at me.”

Fingers pressed against my face. I flinched, the memory of broken, exposed bone and bruised flesh too powerful. The screaming became a whine and then a faint whimper. Movement triggered vertigo that roiled my stomach. I coughed. I heaved and choked.

My eyes fluttered open at the same moment that I vomited. I gagged as the scent hit me. It took a moment for Seth’s voice to pierce through the ache and sick. Roman’s followed soon after.

“Relax, _itiiti_. Relax and breathe. It’s okay,” Roman said softly. He carried me back to the bench and sat me down slowly. “It’s okay.”

Seth carefully pulled the sweatshirt over my head carefully, doing his best to contain the vomit. I watched, still trembling, as he balled it up and tossed it into the garbage. “Are you okay?”

I tried to speak, but I couldn’t make the words come out. My jaw worked, trying to force them free.

“I can’t believe this,” came a voice from down the hall. A series of stomping bootsteps echoed toward us, and I had another momentary flash of panic. Not a second later, Becky appeared at the door, Sefina on her hip. Alexa, Bayley, and Charlotte were right behind her. She was livid, her face almost as red as her hair.

“That bitch has no right to be here,” Alexa snarled. She was the kindest person in the world until someone crossed the people she loved. “I have half a mind to jump her and not hold back.”

It took a moment for them to take in the scene in front of them. Becky handed Sefina to Bayley and crossed the room. “Don’t you worry, Llane. We’re not letting her get away with this.” 


End file.
